Random Esquire

1.  I get these dumb ideas sometimes.  Most recently, I thought maybe I would only speak in song lyrics to Besos and I’d see if she noticed.  This idea came to me when I told her that I love her and she responded, “All of me?”  I wanted to say, “I could not love you any better…. I love you just the way you are.”

I suspect, however, that she would be unamused very quickly.  Plus, I think after writing that song, Billy Joel promptly dumped his wife and married Christie Brinkley.  So, you know….never mind.

2.  I spoke with the Italian.  He complained about not having sex.  It has been six weeks, mind you.  When I told him that six weeks wasn’t a lifetime (especially for a man who attends to his own needs more times in a day than I blink), he kindly informed me that his days without sex are like dog years.  He also informed me that he now loves T of Quest for T.   He did this by calling me and saying, “Finally, some good has come from reading your blog.”  Apparently he clicky and he likey.

I wanted to sing, “Neeever gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it.”

But I didn’t.

3.  I had dinner with Instigator last night.  She told me pregnancy and birth stories.  She had three rules for her husband regarding the birth.  1) Show up.  2) Don’t faint.  3) Be quiet.  And then she told me (as I went pale) the most disturbing parts of giving birth – for herself and for her husband.   I started to go blind at the mention of a large funnel.

The thing is, I think I asked her about how bad pregnancy was.

And after hearing, I wanted to sing to myself, “Whhhyyyyyyyyyy….  I tell myself too many times why don’t you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut.”

[Edited to add] Well, since Besos busted me out…I’ll admit.  I did call her and sing to her.  I sang I just called to say I love you. BUSTED.