Random Esquire

I have been a bear for the last week.  Little Filthy had a physical about two weeks ago and last Friday I got a follow up call that something in his blood test indicated that his kidneys may not be working up to par.  The vet suggested getting a urine sample – preferably in the morning during his “first pee of the day”.  I kindly inquired if she had any suggestions on how to obtain such sample.  She mentioned putting a dish or paper plate on the ground while he was relieving himself.

Well, Little Filthy is box trained so he just unzips and lets fly whenever he likes.  But he does typically wait in the morning until after he has eaten.  So after Saturday breakfast, I spied on him as he approached his box and when he broke the seal, I swooped in and stuck a dixie cup under him.  He didn’t notice at first but then he backed up with a whoa whoa whoa look.  I took the sample to the vet for a specific gravity test and then sweated all day, waiting to hear.

It came back low (1.021) and the vet suggested a re-test and if it had the same result, then an ultrasound was next.  She reassured me that Chicago had a good renal specialist.  My mind boggled.  Little Filthy wasn’t acting any different.  He was just as lousy as he always is.

Per instructions, I dehydrated him a bit on Sunday night and tried to get a sample on Monday morning.  But he was on to me and refused to pee if I was anywhere near him and he was instantly wary if I picked up a dixie cup.  Little Filthy flat out refused use the restroom if I was anywhere around.  Collection FAIL.  I called the vet and told her I’d try again on Thursday, giving him a few days to fully rehydrate.

This morning, I snuck up on him and collected the dew from his lily.  Success!  I had it to the vet at 9 and by 9:45, the vet called.  1.048 – nicely concentrated urine.  Who thought I could be so happy about something like that?  I swooped him up and set him on my stomach and let him lick my face until he decided he’d had enough and went to go sleep on my pillows.

*huge sigh of relief*

Rotten dog.