Wife.
1. I need a wife.
I told Besos. She looked at me and said, “Amazon Prime.”
Have I mentioned that I love Amazon? I do. She knows this.
I looked at her.
She said, “Honey. Free shipping. You can’t beat it.”
2. I told a friend that I needed a wife. She ignored me. Then she told me about how great it was to have an intern in the office because she can say, “Here. Take this unpleasant task and do it.”
And then I realized that I didn’t need a wife. I need an intern.
3. Then I remembered all the trouble you can get into with an intern.
I need a wife.
Share This
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 6th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Yeah. You wouldn’t get into trouble with a wife. Especially not if you try to treat her like an intern. Heh.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Wait a minute. All this time you WEREN’T using Amazon Prime?
DUDE.
April 7th, 2009 at 10:03 am
You *need* a wife or you *want* a wife?
April 7th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Uh
Huh.
You’re lucky she didn’t laugh at you, dude.
April 7th, 2009 at 10:59 am
@KT – My thoughts exactly!
@Avitania – I love Amazon Prime. I haz it. But haven’t been using Amazon to shop for wives. Foolishly, I’d been doing it the old fashioned way. Mail order.
@Beth – I dunno. I obviously get by without one. So maybe I just want one.
Well, how ’bout that? I learn something every day. Thank you, Beth.
@QT – Dude. You are just mean to me. I need to keep you and Besos far apart.
April 7th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
yeah, i need one too. lemme know when you get a good deal on one. maybe we can go 2 for 1.
April 7th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I live on Amazon. Permanently parked. And, hey, feel free to visit my blog on your way to Amazon, click through my Amazon sidebar and send a poor, broke single mom some affiliate dollars. Someone has to get those dollars so it may as well be me.
(I click on someone else’s sidebar so I don’t feel so shameless – I have fun sex toy affiliate links, too – heh)
Yeah, wives are good. I’ve often wanted one myself. Had a nanny for a while and that worked out well. Wonder if you can hire one of those and tell her to disregard the fact that you don’t have a kid?
April 7th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Landing Besos as a wife would make you a true rock star, dude.
And um…. not sure why my post was timely but I hope all is well in your life.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
@Lily – Dude, sweet. 2 for 1. That’d make us, like. …in-laws or some shit.
@PT-LawMom – Amazon is kick ass. And thank you for the tip about going through your blog! I wonder how a kid-free nanny situation would work. I’m pretty sure I’d be the substitute.
@T – Dude. I’m *already* a rock star.
aren’t I?
April 7th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I want to be a stay-at-home-mom without kids…so maybe I could be the nanny for your non-kids…
This could get complicated.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
@KT – I think that means you’d be my wife. Right? Should I tell Besos? So she can kick your ass now? Or later?
(I just read her this response and she said, “Good job, honey.”) Women are bossy.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I’d be Besos’ wife.
See, here’s how it works. Women are wives, but NO ONE needs a wife MORE than a woman.
I guess technically I’d be your wife, once removed.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
@KT – But Besos and I aren’t married.
But I will let her know that she’s engaged right now. She doesn’t like it when I do not keep her up to date on developments.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
RANDOM!!
April 7th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Yet.
April 8th, 2009 at 1:44 am
Someone’s getting a bit…wife clucky? There you go. WIFE CLUCKY. I made up a new phrase.
Coined just for you.