Random Esquire

1.  I need a wife.

I told Besos.  She looked at me and said, “Amazon Prime.”

Have I mentioned that I love Amazon?  I do.  She knows this.

I looked at her.

She said, “Honey. Free shipping. You can’t beat it.”

2.  I told a friend that I needed a wife.  She ignored me.  Then she told me about how great it was to have an intern in the office because she can say, “Here.  Take this unpleasant task and do it.”

And then I realized that I didn’t need a wife.  I need an intern.

3.  Then I remembered all the trouble you can get into with an intern.

I need a wife.