My parents. And the blender.
I bought my parents this Breville blender for Christmas. It is what they wanted, it’s what they got. When my father pulled the blender out of the box, he spent about 10 minutes turning it over in his hands, feeling its heft and admiring the die cast base. It was like love at first sight. My mother went on a fruit and vegetable buying spree and they liquified anything they could find and then suck through a straw. But the romance was short lived.
The power switch inside was wonky and so my mother asked me to have the blender replaced. I had to go to the manufacturer. That was about a month ago. Every single time I’ve spoken with my mother since then, she asks me for an update on the blender. Sometimes, she calls me and only asks about the blender. Would you like to know how our last conversation went? I called her earlier in the week.
Mom: “Hello?”
RE: “Hey, Mom.”
*pause*
Mom: “Who is this?”
RE: “How many people call you Mom?!”
Mom: “Oh! Hi. Do you have my blender back?”
This is what I’ve become. Nothing but a blender update. And every time I tell her that I do not have it back, she is personally disappointed in me.
Mom: “Can’t you write something bad about them? So they will fix it faster?”
RE: “No, Mom. This is normal.”
Mom: “Well, I’d sure like to have it back. Okay, talk to you later.”
I don’t even remember why I called.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Are our mothers sisters?
March 26th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Aw. Well, *we* know that you’re more than just your ability to restore their blender to them.
March 26th, 2009 at 7:04 am
KT – Very, very possible.
Beth – Well, aren’t you sweet.
Little more bounce in my step now!
March 26th, 2009 at 8:05 am
“Who is this?” I LOVE YOUR MOM.
March 26th, 2009 at 9:08 am
It is nice that your mom has her priorities in order.
But how the hell does a $200 blender break in two months? Were they using it as a wood chipper or something?
March 26th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Haha, that’s amazing.
I have friends who only call me for reasons like that.
I remember when my blowdryer broke (I pay $200 for it wholesale, it retails for $375) a month after I got it and I had to send it to the manufacturer and it took 3 months to get it back. THREE MONTHS.
And mind you, their manufacturer repair center is 15 minutes from my apartment. But they won’t let you drop off or pick up anything.
Thank god I had the same dryer in 2 other colors (They come out with a different shade of pink every October and I am…weak.) so I still had one to use but I WANTED TO USE MY NEWWWWW ONE.
March 27th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Who is this?
Ha ha! That cracks me up! Oh I love how you and QT are documenting conversations. They’re so fun to read.
I’m gonna have to go look at that blender. So… what the hell else does it do? Ya know, for ME?
March 28th, 2009 at 10:00 am
All that education you have and you’re reduced to a service liaison for a blender. I would revolt
March 28th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Hahaha.
Don’t worry, whenever I visit my parents they ask where my dog is.
Although, you are in competition with an inanimate object.
So I guess you win!