There’s a feminine product in your eye.
My sister is an interesting mix of prim/proper and back alley craps game. She balances between flying on the corporate jet and then telling me that she’s going to show her kids the movie Mystic River so that they never run away. She’s extremely ethical and always tries to do the right thing. Except for that Black Market Baptism (which happened). She doesn’t swears or says a harsh word calls people charming names like coo-coo bean and quirky bird. But she will say that her kid can smell weakness in a nanny like a wolf smells sheep.
She was prim/proper sister when she called me to tell me the following story. My niece (who is almost 3), was digging around in my sister’s purse. She pulled something out, held it up and said to my sister, “What is this?”
My sister looked at it and said, “Put that away, my love.” (She calls her kids ‘my love’ a lot.)
Niece: “Can I open it? What is it?”
My sister then relayed to me that it was, and I quote, “a certain feminine product.” I like that she compared her kid giving up diapers to pulling someone from a line of coke but doesn’t want to say the word ‘tampon’.
She said, “That’s something just for mommies.”
My niece, knowing that my sister wears contact lenses and that daddy does not, said, “Ohh. Are these contact lenses?”
My sister gave in and said, “Yes.”
My niece said, “Ohh. Do you want me to open it and put it in your eye?”
My sister said, “No.”
I can’t wait to see this backfire on my sister.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
And you know it will.
I can’t wait to hear about it when it does.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Oh that’s hilarious. Your sister is funny! Yeah, it will be good…
March 6th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Bahaha, I remember once a family friend was watching a telly ad for painkillers specifically for period pain.
He asked his mum what period pain was and she replied, “It’s a tummy ache, honey.”
He then yelled out in public that he had to stop walking because he had bad period pains and wanted to know if he could have some naprogesic…
His mum paid for that one!
Good luck to your sis!
March 6th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Ahh dude, how are you and your sister so …. DIFFERENT?
I love the niece. How cute!
March 10th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
When my kid was 4 she asked how a baby got inside a mom’s stomach. Quick on my feet I said “A mom and dad love each other so much that they have extra left over love – and so love magic happens and a baby starts growing in the mom’s stomach.” She was quite satisfied with that, and I was quite pleased with my ingenuity. A few hours later she says “Ok, but the baby – so how does it get out. Not how does it get in, but how does it get out?” As I was pondering my reply, she offered up “Does the doctor cut it out??” Yes sugar, exactly!
March 22nd, 2009 at 7:48 am
This can only lead to some really embarrassing situation down the line
I can’t wait to hear what happens with it.