“Bev lets me.” (With apologies to LynchSeattle)
Well, this is probably going to be the most inappropriate entry I’ve ever done. Let me set the scene.
Besos and I were at dinner last night and we were talking about our friends, Chris and Bev (LynchSeattle and Blynch). Besos said, “When I saw Chris in bed…”
*Blink*
I said, “What?”
She said, “When I saw Chris in bed…”
I said, “What?”
She said, “When. I. Saw. Chris. And. Bev….”
I said, “Ohhh…”
I told her what I’d been hearing and she laughed and we sent a text message to Bev relaying the story. Bev relayed the message to Chris and we all laughed and then Bev and I decided we should have an affair to even out the score.
So, Besos and I went home and made with the whoopie pancakes and then fell asleep. I woke up around 3 in the morning and could distinctly remember having two dreams:
1) I had a dream that I absolutely had to go get the Amazon Kindle. In fact, in my dream, you could watch television on it as well as download books from Amazon.
2) In my other dream…I was making out with Bev in bed. Oy! I decided to keep that one to myself.
I got up to take out my contacts and brush my teeth before I silently slipped back into bed. It was then that Besos spoke:
“You talk in your sleep.”
I froze.
“What?”
She said, “You talk in your sleep.”
I said slowly, “Ohhh? Uhhhhh…what did I say?”
She sat up and turned toward me and said, “You were having a good time. You were moaning. And then you said something.”
I couldn’t help it. I started to laugh out of nervous embarrassment. “What did I say?”
“You said, ‘That feels good, baby.’”
At this point, I couldn’t stop laughing and I burst out, “I had a dream I was making out with Bev in bed!”
Besos started to laugh and said, “You were not fucking making out!”
We laughed and curled up back in bed and I began to grab at her some more and she warned me to behave and brushed my hands away a little.
I couldn’t help it.
I whispered, “Bev lets me.”
Let’s pause in the story to fully appreciate my stupidity. In the course of a few hours, I’d suggested an affair with another woman, had a dream in which I made out with said woman, apparently gave verbal indication of said dream and then made a stupid comment about my imaginary affair with the woman.
Besos let out a “Rraaawwwwrrrr!!” at me and I was banished to the other side of the bed.
But she was giggling the entire time so I snuck back over and behaved myself.
Dude.
WTF.
Good thing Besos can laugh about my goofiness.
But seriously, Bev…how you doin’?
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
November 13th, 2008 at 11:56 am
*Laugh*
I love you RE. I really do.
November 13th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
AWESOME!!
Tell Besos that she’d better watch out the next time we come back to Chicago cuz I might “let you.” Of course, since she saw “Chris in bed…”
We sound like some perverted group of swingers, heh
Btw – I totally want a Kindle for Christmas!
November 13th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Oh and the “whoopi pancake”
Ha!
November 13th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
1. Whoopie Pancake? Is it wrong that that just made me hungry? I just don’t want to know if there’s syrup involved… actually, I lie. I do want to know…
2. I’m a big talker in my sleep, and I’ve humiliated myself on many an occasion. My last dream involved my best friend and I shopping naked at the local Wal Mart. According to the Mister it was quite funny… I have my doubts.
Hey it could have been much worse, at least you didn’t yell out Bev’s name in the heat of the moment! Hehe..I don’t know how good you would look in a full body cast, so you might want to be extra careful until you get this Bev thing under control
Bev… you temptress!
November 13th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
i cannot stop laughing @ this post. and all i can imagine is you saying “bev let’s me” and bev nodding & giggling & pointing @ besos. is that weird?
that being said…WHOOPIE PANCAKES WHEEEEEEE!
November 13th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
QTMama – Woot!
Hey, look, I hope you remembered to call your parole officer before your visit to Chicago this time. I can’t keep bailing you out of jail.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Bev – Besos just read this and after she was done, she said, “Whoopie pancakes??” No clue where I got it.
And YES, KINDLE! I sort of want one but I don’t really buy books in print anymore. I buy audio books and don’t have time to read because it requires my full attention. Instead, I listen to the book and then I can do other things – like get to work, clean, walk the pooch, etc.
I think I just want some new technology and so I want the kindle. It just SEEMS FUN.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Tiffany – No syrup involved. At least, not yet. I want to know what it made you hungry for.
Shopping naked at Wal-Mart?! You top me there.
And yeah…glad I haven’t yet yelled out names. Last week, I woke myself up by yelling out loud in my sleep. I must dream a lot more than I remember.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Lily! Yes! That’s weird! But in a funny way.
WHOOPIE PANCAKES. Dude, I better be number 1 on that google search.
November 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
SOOOOO funny.
I had a dream we were making out once. Since you fessed up, figured I would too.
November 13th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Ms. Single Mama,
Oooooo, at least you didn’t say it was a nightmare.
Good God, I should tape my mouth shut before bed.
November 13th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Bwahahahah. This is awesome. Sounds like you have great friends and an even better lady.
November 13th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
PT-LawMom – I’m very lucky.
November 13th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Bev- “WARNING”…. RE can be “a handful”
QTMama- I have top secret information to share when we see you. Picture it: RE blushing and screaming “AHHHHGGGGGG”
RE- *Shaking head* What am I going to do with you, babe? *smirk* At least it was Bev and not Palin.
November 13th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Besos,
1) I suppose I can not argue with your warning to Bev.
2) HEY! Nooooooo! That stuff is off limits!
3) You make a very good point – Palin is no Bev, that’s for sure.
Besame!
November 13th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Hey, hey, hey now – don’t put me in the same sentence with Palin! We couldn’t be further apart
November 13th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Taping your mouth shut (while sleeping) may NOT be such a bad idea (on YOUR behalf)…however, WE will be deprived of those subconscious thoughts that truly entertain us.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:28 am
What the hell is a ‘whoopie pancake’???
Tiff, I have recurring dreams where i find myself outside, walking somewhere, and i realize, much to my dismay, that I am naked. Like I simply forgot to get dressed. And then I am somewhat embarrassed but noone else seems at all flustered or appalled or even interested.
And when will we hear from Lynch – what does he think that his wife is being ravaged by RE? Yeah, OK so the ravaging is taking place in a dream but still. ..
November 14th, 2008 at 11:51 am
This post made me laugh harder than the ones about NJ. And you KNOW that shit is hard.
November 14th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Instigator and I were seperated at birth… I’m sure of it…
That is EXACTLY how this dream was, and I’ve had others like it in the past. We just forgot to get dressed – and not one person seemed to notice. She was glad – I was pissed off about it actually – I mean come on, SOMEONE has to notice when you’re naked in the Walmart!
Of course my husband was rather amused that I was mumbling about boobs and Walmart in the same sentance. During my waking hours I pretty much refuse to have my boobs or any other body part inside that store.
November 14th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Whoopie Pancakes? Heh!! I love it. It almost sounds like a companion product to Batter Blaster: http://www.batterblaster.com/
I think the next time I do something, I’m going to use “Bev lets me” as an excuse. Muahah.
November 14th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Bev – Except that I’d totally love to see a cat fight between you and Palin. Ooo, make the popcorn and crack open a beer.
November 14th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
SavoredLife – Deprived or spared? And how have you been?
November 14th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Instigator – You know, it’s like you WANT me to get my ass kicked. heh.
And no clue what whoopie pancakes are. I just make shit up as I go.
November 14th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Vittoria – Aww, coming from you, that makes me grin!
GOBAMA.
November 14th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Tiffany – You two are like opposite sides of a split apple, it seems. So similar but completely opposite. I don’t know how to describe what it’d be like if you two met. My head might explode.
November 14th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Avitania – WHERE in the WORLD do you find things like batter blaster?!
And yeah, I told Besos that I was going to start saying, “Bev let’s me” whenever I wanted to do something.
That will get old quickly.
For Besos.
November 16th, 2008 at 2:59 am
They don’t have Batter Blaster where you live? For shame! I found it at my local Whole Foods. (Apparently, if whatever you stick in a spray can is “organic,” that makes it A-OK). I bought a canister this afternoon — I can’t wait to try it.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Batter Blaster is at WHOLE FOODS? It seems so…Anti-WholeFoodEstablishmentarianismist. I just realized I was making up words and went with it.
I’m going to look for it at my whole foods.
November 16th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
The Batter Blaster sounds kind of intimidating. Even with tame organic ingredients.
November 17th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Haha, I LOL’d at this one
The funny thing is I messaged RE when I read this and asked if next time we could video the whole thing
Of course, I’m going to start working in “Bev lets me” into my normal vocabulary as well – even if it’s actually with Bev!
Instigator: Hey, if that’s what it’s going to take to get RE to visit Seattle, that’s cool with me
November 17th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
LynchSeattle – Oh man, dude, you are one sick bastard. heh.
November 17th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
OMG we LOVE Batter Blaster! RE, when and IF you come visit me? I’ll have Batter Blaster waiting for you. And tissues.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Definitely “deprived”….isn’t it obvious? We LIVE off of this stuff! HA!
I have been well ~ staying busy and NOT spending nearly enough time in the Blogosphere as I should!