Random Esquire

1.  You may recall that The Ballerina is known for saying things no one else would say.  The other day, we were talking about bosses and managing people and how it can be difficult and she said this:

“Yeah…you gotta own that shit…

…like a lazy eye.”

*Blink*

I think I coughed on my coffee.

2.  The Italian and his girlfriend have parted ways.  We were discussing this and somehow, the topic of faces came up.  (You know…like, how women have 75 different looks and 73 of them mean stop what you’re doing right now.)  The Italian said he has a face.  I asked what it was.  He said, “The please fuck me face.  It’s a look that says, ‘Please fuck me. I would be oh-so-appreciative if you would.’”  Then he laughed until he coughed.

3.  I think I’m finally ready to date seriously.  Those of you who know me know that I’ve sort of fought it tooth and nail but that’s over.  And I’m pretty damn happy about that.  Obviously, though, my behavior had to change.  While on the phone with Besos tonight, we were laughing about how I’ve just become comfortable with the idea of dating seriously.

I said, “You broke me!”

She said, with a fair bit of indignation, “What did you say?”

I said, “I said you broke me!”

She snorted and said, “No…I fixed you.”

1.  Someone found my blog by searching for: “why do i love my whore wife?”

NOT OKAY.  But pretty funny.

2.  Someone else found his or her way here after looking for “Sarah Palin Mouth Vagina.”

Okay, I know what this is about…it’s about a joke that’s going around – “What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina?”

If you don’t know the answer…well, I e-mail me.  I’ll spare readers unless there is some sort of demand for the answer.

3.  *sigh* And yet someone else found me by looking for “Tina Turner and Diana Ross.”

THE SHAME.  It burns!