It’s a good thing I don’t have kids.
I almost accidentally killed Little Filthy yesterday. Here’s the thing: After Little Filthy eats, he drinks an entire bowl of water. He eats all his food, drinks, then licks the food bowl repeatedly, then drinks some more, then licks the food bowl again – back and forth until every last bit is gone. Then he uses the bathroom repeatedly. This is normal for him.
The other day, I noticed a full water bowl despite the fact that he’d just eaten. It was the same way the next morning and he didn’t drink much in between. I started to put more water into his food. But then I had this brilliant idea of dropping some small treats into his water bowl. I dropped in a few. They floated around on the surface and he was able to fish them out relatively easily, not drinking too much. I thought maybe if I had treats that sank to the bottom, he’d have to drink the water first before he could get to the treat. So I decided I’d slice up some banana and stick it to the bottom of his bowl before filling it with water (See #3e here). But then I realized something about Little Fitlhy.
I won’t lie. He’s not a Rhodes Scholar. He can’t herd sheep, lead a blind man across the street, or even consistently come when you call him. He’s more likely to bang his head into a wall from running too fast, eat a dirty kleenex (see #3 here) or drag your underwear across a room (See here or #2 here…or #1 here). It occurred to me that, considering his love of bananas, he’d probably go nose down and try to fish it out and probably drown himself in the process.
At that thought, the banana slice dropped from my hand back on to the counter. So much for that idea. So instead, I cut a small piece of banana and mashed it with the side of a knife and then whisked it into a big bowl of water. He drank it all. Two bowls of it.
Yeah. I probably need a girlfriend, huh?
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
LOL… dude, the fact that you realized this BEFORE drowning your dog puts you ahead of the curve.
No harm, no foul…
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
You definitely get points for not -actually- killing your dog.
And, yes, you probably need a girlfriend…one who can deal with the non-steam-room-showers and strange sleeping habits…
I totally have a girl crush on this woman at my gym, otherwise I might suggest her. I’m guessing she is/was a dancer. She’s totally hot.
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
She’s not blonde, though…
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
@KT I’LL TAKE HER!
@RE Just kiddin.
sort of.
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
A girlfriend would indeed do you good. You don’t want to become the crazy dog guy at such a tender age.
October 23rd, 2008 at 11:06 pm
So why is it a good thing that you don’t have kids?
Sounds like you’d be amazing. Is Little Filthy depressed or something – why no water? Humph. More bananas.
October 24th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Lily – You’ll totally have to fight me for her! I’m only a waist-up lesbian, but seriously, she is so hot. And she’s friendly (I think)…she smiles a lot. That’s hot too.
October 26th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Hehe, every now and then Bailey will go into this phase where she blows bubbles out of her nose in the water bowl. At first it’s kinda cute: you’ll be sitting there and then out of the blue you “bloop bloop bloop” and sure enough her little muzzle is stuffed in the bowl. But then she’ll do it over and over as if it’s the coolest thing she’s ever seen.
Sigh.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Tiffany – if I EVER have kids, that’s going to be my motto. “No harm, no foul.”
KT – The world demands a cell phone picture! Except, that’s sort of majorly creepy. Except WE DO NOT CARE! We demand it! And what the heck is a waist up lesbian? Like, you’re only into boobs? Which, hell…I don’t blame you…
Lily – fight ya for her.
Pinkgerbil – I hadn’t thought of my age as tender before but now I will and I will think of you.
MsSingleMama – You kill me. Actually, I guess if I can deal with a poo eating dog every so often, what’s a little poo smeared in the tub?
LynchSeattle – WTF. Seriously?? YOUTUBE.
October 30th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Yeah, that’s not weird AT ALL.
Heh…I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, she’s about 5’8″ or 5’9″, has long curly brown hair, and a seriously smokin’ figure. And, like I said before, she’s a dancer and she smiles a lot.
Waist-up lesbian = boobs are pretty, but I still like boys…not into the vajayjay (literally or figuratively).
Hm…maybe that’s too much information for a Thursday morning.
OH WELL!
November 4th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Update on the hot woman at my gym…
She’s married.