Indian women ain’t playin’, Eat it, and Designated Driving Kids.
1. This Indian woman goes out into the field to cut some grass for her cattle. A man who’d allegedly been stalking her attacked her. So she cut of his head with her sickle. And then she walked on down to the village, carrying his head. She said she had no regret.
Don’t fuck with an Indian woman. She ain’t playin’.
2. This dude at a 15 pound hamburger…with a cup of mayo on it. And a cup of ketchup, a cup of mustard, and a cup of relish. Total weight? 20.2 pounds. That’s going to take a full bottle of Maalox to cure. When asked why he did it, he said, “I wanted to see if I could.”
Welcome to the modern-day fat America moutain that needs climbing.
3. This shouldn’t crack me up but it does. This woman gets so drunk, she has her 9 year old drive. They get pulled over when cops notice how tiny the driver is. Dude. Parenting FAIL.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
October 19th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Which reminds me of a story here in Seattle a couple years ago about an older gentleman who was the victim of an attempted mugging downtown. However, the old man (whose name was Gus) beat down the mugger WITH HIS CANE. The paper posted a picture of Gus on the front page, brandishing his cane. We photocopied the picture and stuck it all around the office with the caption, “DO NOT FUCK WITH GUS.”
That is precisely the kind of old person I want to be.
October 20th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Avitania – Isn’t that the kind of young person you are? I sort of remember you taking a cane to some hobos, vigilante style, while you were here.
October 20th, 2008 at 10:45 am
That just made my morning. All of it. I out-loud laughed for 5 whole minutes. “Don’t fuck with an Indian woman” – classic.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:50 am
1. Hah! Decapitation FTW!
2. Man, I wonder how he trained for the event. It must have taken years of hard work and dedication before achieving his life’s dreams. He’s like an Olympic Eaterer.
3. Next time we drink too much I’m bringing Kala and letting her drive. I have no doubt we’ll be pulled over when they notice a 13 pound pug is steering, but the headlines and stories will provide years of laughter
October 21st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I just laughed so hard I woke up the toddler sleeping on my lap.
That’s fantastic. I love to see old people layin’ the smack down on some a-hole who tries to mess with them! My little ol’ grams once cold cocked a guy on the head with a bag containing a quart of frozen yogert because he almost knocked her over and then said, “Jesus Christ get out of the way!” It wasn’t the shoving past her that pissed her off… that “thug” took the Lord’s name in vain you know!”
LOL!! Fiesty old people rock!
As for the ginormo-burger, once I read “one cup of mayonaise” I wanted to vomit. I mean REALLY?
And I’m shocked that the woman has her 9 year old driving and SHE gets a citation for unsafe driving. Uhhh…she wasn’t DRIVING!! Shouldn’t they not worry about the ticket and throw her ass in prison for stupidity and child endangerment? These are the people who should be struck sterile I swear!