Random Esquire

1.  I was on a conference call last week with the Italian when I got an instant message from him that went like this:

“I’m too sexy.”

“I’m too sexy for this call.”

“Too sexy for this call.”

“So sexy it hurts.”

This is my life, people.

2.  I bought a lap top today.  Presumably so Sitcom and I could go sit at a coffee shop and work on a writing project.  I got a Sony Viao – the new CS series, I believe (one of the pre-releases)…that glows when you stroke it.  I didn’t get pink, by the way. I got black.

3.  My little squirrel friend is back.  She (how I know she’s a she) disappeared over the summer while my patio was redone.

Today, I looked up to find her sitting just on the other side of the glass, having a staring contest with Little Filthy.  I got some crackers, walked out on the patio and set them down on the rail while she watched me, just a few inches away.  I went back inside and watched as she grabbed a cracker, ran along the building ledge to my neighbor’s patio and buried a cracker in one of her flower pots.  She did that with two more crackers and then sat on the railing and ate the last one.  I’m imagining my neighbors face when she finds her plants have sprouted crackers.

I think tomorrow will be oats and peanut butter.  I’m going to get her so fat, she needs to be moved with a forklift.   Then my work will be done.