Little Filthy is so named because he has a very bad habit of…how shall I say it…he indulges in his own creations.  This would not be quite so possible were it not for the fact that he is box trained and so if I do not know he’s made a deposit, he may make himself a withdrawal before I am aware of the situation.  Hence…Little Filthy.

I made a curry for dinner tonight.  I placed a bowl of the dish on my coffee table and got up to grab a bottle of water and got distracted by a phone call and some e-mails.  I ate with the phone in one hand while I pitched old magazines off the table (do I really need the last 6 months of Wired magazine? No.).  I was about half finished when Little Filthy jumped up on the couch and put his paws on my leg and banged his face into my cheek.  This isn’t too unusual.  He kisses like a drunk driver.   I swiped my hand across my cheek and …it came back a little brown.

I sat there stunned at the thought that the dog has just sideswiped me with his baked potato.  I jumped up and washed my cheek and hand and then looked at his box…it was clean.  What the hell?

Then I realized…that monster had been eating my curry.  The same curry that I then ate for dinner.  And now I don’t know if I’m more worried about what his box is going to look like or that I ate my dinner after him.

ugh.

I dig Chicago.

1.   Last Friday, my co-worker left the office and began his walk to the train and walked right by a dead man.  The man had jumped from the 40th floor, killing himself just minutes earlier.

*sigh*

2.  I feel like in the past week, two people have said something to me which I can not stop remembering and repeating in my head.

*sigh*

3.   Two more work days this week?  For real?

*sigh*

1.  Did you hear about that guy who ate 23,000 Big Macs?  Is it just me or does anyone else want to see a picture of this guy?  I just want to know what eating that many Big Macs does to a person.

2.  Sitcom and I went to dinner last night.  She got a new camera and wanted to chat about how to use it.  I was excited to share my teaspoon of knowledge about the subject.  At some point, while I was explaining the importance of light and taking pictures in RAW format, she casually let it drop that her father was a photo journalist.

*blink*

WTF.  Next time I’m taking her dad out to dinner.

3.  McCain is all over Obama for using the phrase “lipstick on a pig” which he (McCain) used in October when talking about Hillary Clinton’s Health Care plan.  I love how campaigns sometimes become this competition to see who can be first and most offended by the other.  Maybe both sides should just refrain from using the word ‘lipstick’ all together.  In this household, it’s only used to describe a part of Little Filthy’s anatomy.

4.  Where the hell did summer go? I’m gearing up for winter by getting my XBOX 360 fixed and putting movies into queue.   How about you?

1.  It just isn’t a proper drive unless I have a reason to use my horn.  It’s the favorite part of my car.  God, I love honking.

2.   Honest to God, I feel dirtier telling people I bought a webcam than I would if I told them I collect vintage porn.  (I don’t, by the way.)

3.   Besos and I were talking about Texas because she lived there for about a  year at one point.  I remarked that the first time I was in Texas and saw the Wranglers, cowboy boots and cowboy hats, my first thought was, “Oh..like, …for real?”  She said that when she first saw men in tight blue Wranglers, her first thought was, “Oh…they’re gay.”

4.   Speaking of Besos…she sent me a text message a while back and said that she was scared alone in her place and that she suspected it was haunted.  I said I agreed and said to her:  “All Mexican households are haunted.”  It just felt like something I knew.

5.   Sitcom is going to the Emmy’s.  But not to the party afterwards…because, you know, she has better things to do.  WTF.

1.  I like my job a lot but I think it’s funny that sometimes, I honestly have the cliched thought of, “Thank God it’s Friday.”   I don’t know why that surprises me since it’s such a common sentiment that an entire chain of restaurants is named after it.  Drew Carey said, “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?  There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

2.   I watched the Republican National Convention last night with a group of friends.  When I expressed that I would shag Palin, I got looks of horror.  Now, see here, people, I’m not saying I’d marry the woman.  There’s a general rule:  F*ck down, Marry up.  Okay?  I just wanna shag her a little.  That’s all.  I AM NOT IMMUNE.

3.   Have you ever spent some time with your parents and gotten this brief glimpse of some personality characteristic that you suddenly realize is only going to magnify as they get older?  And it scares the crap out of you?

1. Did you know you could buy a $1,700 harmonica from Amazon? It looks like a hole punch on a diet.  Then there’s this one for $460 that looks like a 3-D asterisk.  Are you kidding me, people?  It’s a harmonica.  Like, the instrument known for being most often acquired off of dead soldiers and being carried around in a back pocket.

Ooo, why do I want a Snoopy Jaw Harp?  6 bucks, people!  SIX BUCKS.  Speaking of Snoopy, I have a Walter Mitty complex.

2.  I had dinner last night with Boss.  She told me about her first day of class.  She had a kid named Henry who refused to listen to her no matter how many times she called to/on him.  Turns out… his name is Lorenzo.  She also lost one kid and had a mild panic attack before finding him behind the bookshelf, listening to the mini search party discuss where he might be. When she told her class that electronics were not allowed and to leave their Nintendo DS at home as well as their PSP, one student said, “And guns? Guns aren’t allowed either, right?”  She teaches kindergarten.  She said, “Yes…that’s correct…no guns.”  Another kid piped up, “Or cigarettes.”

3.   Okay, look, people.  I’m a democrat.  I have a great deal of respect for what McCain did and went through while a POW in Vietnam.  I do not plan to vote for him. And his choice of Palin surprised me.

BUT.

I won’t lie.

I might do her after a few drinks.

And I mean both of us would have had to have a few drinks.  Enough so that she slurs her words so I don’t understand the rhetoric coming out of her mouth and enough so that I don’t care if her vagina is a republican or a democrat.

1.  Big thanks to LynchSeattle who provided a fix to my website issues.

2.  A certain someone I know has a roommate with questionable taste.  And by questionable taste, I mean undeniably bad taste.  Like, sweatshirts featuring wolves baying at a full moon kind of bad taste.  You get what I’m saying?  I’m talking about BEDAZZLED bad taste.  Anyway, someone questioned how well my friend knew her roommate prior to moving in together.  “Do you know her middle name? You should know her middle name!”  That struck me as a completely absurd guage on how well two people know each other.

Then I wondered if John McCain knew  Sarah Palin’s middle name.  I doubt it.  He doesn’t even know how many homes he owns.

3.  It occurred to me last night that no one has ever made me a decent cup of coffee (outside of a cafe/store).

4.  I’m buying a webcam.  I’m going to hook that puppy up and then watch to see what the hell Little Filthy does all day while I’m gone.

5.  I wish doing the laundry ended with the tossing the clothes in the dryer bit.  You know.  None of that folding and putting away BS.  Some days, I miss those laundry elves.