Random Esquire

1.  Figs are gritty.  I know it’s just the seeds but the grit still makes me cringe.  Fig Newtons are sort of like gritty cookies. (picture by Xerones)

2.  I turned on the TV tonight to a pizza dough rolling competition.  These guys were all competing to see who could roll the largest crust without tearing the dough.  One guy was getting ready to start and he kept rubbing the dough ball, intense concentration on his face, and this guy from the audience screams, “This is yours!  You’ve been waiting your whole life for this moment!”

That’s supposed to be encouragement?  That might make me pause and rethink the direction my life has been heading.

3. God, I hate the phrase “Dessert Pizza.”  It just does not sit right with me.

4.  I find it very funny that the slogan for Botox is “Freedom of Expression.”

5.  I spoke with my sister tonight and she called their nanny a “quirky bird.”  I said, “Quirky bird?”  She said, “Yeah… you know, a quirky bird.”  Is this slang I’m not aware of?  Then she said that my niece she smells weakness in a nanny like a wolf smells a lamb.  I daresay she sounded proud.