Harmonicas, Kindergarten and Sarah Palin’s vagina.
1. Did you know you could buy a $1,700 harmonica from Amazon? It looks like a hole punch on a diet. Then there’s this one for $460 that looks like a 3-D asterisk. Are you kidding me, people? It’s a harmonica. Like, the instrument known for being most often acquired off of dead soldiers and being carried around in a back pocket.
Ooo, why do I want a Snoopy Jaw Harp? 6 bucks, people! SIX BUCKS. Speaking of Snoopy, I have a Walter Mitty complex.
2. I had dinner last night with Boss. She told me about her first day of class. She had a kid named Henry who refused to listen to her no matter how many times she called to/on him. Turns out… his name is Lorenzo. She also lost one kid and had a mild panic attack before finding him behind the bookshelf, listening to the mini search party discuss where he might be. When she told her class that electronics were not allowed and to leave their Nintendo DS at home as well as their PSP, one student said, “And guns? Guns aren’t allowed either, right?” She teaches kindergarten. She said, “Yes…that’s correct…no guns.” Another kid piped up, “Or cigarettes.”
3. Okay, look, people. I’m a democrat. I have a great deal of respect for what McCain did and went through while a POW in Vietnam. I do not plan to vote for him. And his choice of Palin surprised me.
BUT.
I won’t lie.
I might do her after a few drinks.
And I mean both of us would have had to have a few drinks. Enough so that she slurs her words so I don’t understand the rhetoric coming out of her mouth and enough so that I don’t care if her vagina is a republican or a democrat.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
1. Now I know what I’m buying you for your birthday
2. Well… it could have been worse. Someone could have said “or a body”. That would just be plain old creepy.
3. I like McCain. I won’t be voting for him, and I think Palin was a poor choice. This is sad because McCain was always one of my examples of a moderate I’d vote for. If you do hook up with Palin though, I salute you.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
haha kids say the darndest things.
Harmonicas are an interesting instrument choice. My friend told me how she saw some dude driving around town playing a harmonica while steering with both his elbows. Enough said about the types that play harmonicas!
September 4th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Didn’t the animator/voice of Snoopy die yesterday? I’m surprised the price of that jaw harp isn’t, like, $60! Or maybe at least $6.60.
Isn’t the jaw harp that instrument that makes that wooooooooooo-ing sound? Sort of like a theremin?
I’ll bet you Palin is a total fox in the sack.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:25 am
LynchSeattle – Boss heard stories about how many times certain relatives were shot. One kid said his dad (or brother?) had been shot three times and they had to go to visit him a lot.
Kez – WTF. Who has THAT strong of a compulsion to play their harmonica??
Avitania – The movie voice-over dude died. Did he do the voice of Snoopy?? Or was this another guy?
Yeah, the jaw harp makes a goofy sound. You don’t remember Snoopy playing it? heh.
Palin = fox in sack
Hillary = dead fish
Well, you know the general rule….f*ck down, marry up.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:58 am
1. I wonder how much kazoos are going for?
2. Henry, Lorenzo – pretty much same difference. I need to forward this on to my teacher friends for a good laugh.
3. Sometimes I read what you write and my jaw just drops. Then I imagine you saying it and I crack up. You’re lucky you have that charm thing going on
September 4th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Bev – Kazoos…found a $26 wood one on Amazon. Nuts.
What part made your jaw drop? I’m glad you then cracked up because I wonder if I sound like a complete crazy in this blog sometimes. After meeting me, it’s just so much easier to ignore half of what I say.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
3. as long as palin doesn’t open that thing she calls a mouth AND wears a bag over her head AND is sloppy drunk, i’d prolly take one for the (dem) team.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
oh Gawd… I’ve been way too busy to read blogs for weeks. I needed my RE fix bad, and come to find you discussing Palin’s Vajayjay….of course you did.
I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks. Thanks Random, I won’t stay away so long again…. I know you missed me!
I discussed my own 5yr. olds first day at Kindergarden on my own blog. Only my daughter would tell a crying and hysterical classmate, “you can’t do that here…didn’t they tell you this is KINDERGARDEN!” Ya… we’re an empathetic lot.
September 5th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Lily – That’s the spirit!
Tiffany – Glad to see you! And Boss would love your kid because she is always saying, “There’s no crying in kindergarten!”
September 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Totally with you, I don’t play on that team, (STANDARD “SEINFIELD” DISCLAIMER), but she is *hot* –
If I were into girls I’d totally do her, unless she started in blathering with the “abstinence only’ as sex-ed, creationism in school curriculum, and anti-choice rhetoric. What a turn-off, I’d kick her right outta bed.
;- )
Chicago kindergarteners scare me.