Little Filthy is filthy, Regatta, I am an a-hole, Handsome devil.
1. Little Filthy likes to dig in any bag you happen to leave on the ground. Laptop bag? Check. Gym bag? Check. Purse? Check. The last few times Besos has been over, he’s managed to get into her bag and take out a metal tin of mints. We realized only when we heard him shaking it with his mouth, trying to open it. He’s eaten a pack of gum out of Boss’s purse, as well. Today, I heard him in the other room and Besos said, “I zipped my bag. He can’t get in it.” I wasn’t so sure. I walked back and saw Little Filthy with his head entirely inside her overnight bag. His head emerged and something dropped out of his mouth and on to the ground. I leaned over, picked it up and blinked.
It was a g-string.
I handed it to Besos. She sighed, took it from me and said, “Well, he’s definitely your dog.”
2. My buddy (the same who suggested I upgrade to first class on our ride to hell) participated in the Chicago Dragon Boat races this past weekend. (See picture example here.) Apparently, he wasn’t on the winning team. He complained about the difficulty of competing against the fire department and the police department. He said, “Those dudes are all like 6 foot 3…and I know you’re required to have six women on each team but they ought to make you have six actual Asians on a team.” Yeah. He’s Asian.
3. I am once again struck by the fact that I find the borderline offensive funny. I said something *cough* tongue-in-cheek to Boss tonight to which she responded, “You’re RIDICULOUS.” But you know what? I don’t think you’re allowed to tell me I’m horrible if you’re laughing when you say it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that just encourages me.
4. Take a look at that handsome devil! Chip off the old block, that g-string stealin’ little monster.
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
July 28th, 2008 at 1:25 am
There are non-Asians that Dragon Boat? I thought that was like finding the Chupacabra, or Sasquatch, or something.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:16 am
I need to start carrying G-Strings in my purse. *grin*
He is a damn funny dog, RE. And most certainly, he is the perfect dog for you.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:45 am
1. He’s like the dog in the commercial who fetches his owner a beer from the fridge, only tailored to your specific needs. Don’t lie. You’re up at 3am teaching him to sniff out women’s underthings.
2. You could not pay me enough money to do that. Too much work. Too much potential for ending up in the actual water. I’m half-Asian…maybe I should do half the training and do half the race…naw, I want to be the chick who gets to beat the drum. That’s more my style. We have the Dragon Boat races up here, and one year we got talked into using our boat as the floating home base for the rescue boats. Yeah, good fun.
3. Offensive to whom? Obviously not to you. Or, really, to Besos.
4. Sooo….you look like a pug is what you’re saying…
July 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Avitania – Actually, I have no clue how many are Asian v. Non-Asian. I think it’s a pretty mixed group. I’d never even heard of a Dragon Boat race until he told me about it.
I love the word Chupacabra. heh.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am
QTMama –
He’s a pretty funny little animal. I know I shouldn’t find his bad habits charming but I’m a sucker for the bad kid.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:54 am
KT -
1. If only. Imagine how good he’d have been during college panty raids? He probably could have had the girls willingly giving him their underwear.
2. Ending up in the water? What the heck are those boats made out of, anyway? paper mache?
3. Heh, well, I was actually being offensive to Boss, my ex, not Besos. Though, yes, I’m quite sure Besos puts up with more than her fair share.
5. He’s half Chinese (pug) and half Mexican (chihuahua) and I am neither of those so the resemblance is a bit of a stretch…most likely, it’s the g-string finding characteristics that identify us as family.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:08 am
1. Why do you think single guys get dogs to begin with? Most girls think dogs are cute (especially little dogs)…therefore, you are cute by association. And retrieving underwear, well, it would be creepy if you did it, but the dog, well, that’s cute, right?
2. No, but they have no keel to speak of–nothing to counterbalance the weight above the water–so they tip very easily.
3. Duh. Did I mention I can’t read?
4. Like father, like son.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:15 am
KT – Ahh, I did not realize how effective dogs were in the pick-up area! I got Little Filthy while with Boss after she gave me a pitiful look and squealed when she saw him.
Now that I think about it, though, Little Filthy is the reason Plush and I met.
Man, that dog is MAGIC.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am
And yet you call him Little Filthy.
For shame, for shame.
Try a little social experiment…sit on a bench in an area with a fair amount of foot traffic (the strolling kind, not the marathon-training kind) for, say, an hour. See how many women approach you on the merits of your dog. For comparison’s sake, you could sit for an hour without the dog and see how many women approach you. That might be more scientific than you care to get, though.
You realize that, should anything ever happen to him, you will have to get another dog. And another. And another.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:40 am
LF might just be more of a “terrierist” than my in-law’s dog, Osama Bin Crosley. That dog gets into EVERYTHING! My dogs are a bit more laid back. Tango has eaten a couple of couches, Bailey gets into the bread drawer occassionally, and Kala – well, she never gets off of the couch long enough to cause much damage.
I’ve never seen the dragon boats, but it sounds like fun.
I find offensive to be funny most of the time. It’s all in the timing and appropriateness
You know that you taught LF to steal the g-string – don’t lie
July 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am
1. My pugs are addicted to bubble gum… they smell it in my purse a mile away and will whine, and look all pathetic while they shake and twitch… really, they need a support group or some kind of out patient recovery program. I can’t leave my purse anywhere that they can reach, or climb something to reach it because they’ll open it up and chew up all the gum.
Little monsters… In fact right this minute Lulu has no chest hair because she got the gum the kids left down, chewed up a huge wad, fell asleep on the 3 year old and the piece fell out of her mouth and she “gummed” herself to the kid.
Three hours with olive oil, a lady bic razzor and me swearing like a trucker to get them unstuck.
Now she looks like she has mange… ya…we’re not attracting anyone with this look!
July 28th, 2008 at 11:32 am
ohh… and LF is adorable!
Were Lulu not too embarrased to be seen in public she might take LF on a hot doggy date.
He could bring the undies…she would bring the gum. Now there’s some wicked fun in the making.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:46 am
1. Haha. I love Lil Filthy. He makes me smile. Was it Besos’ purse that the g-string was in? Hmmm… prepared woman.
2. HA!!!
3. You are slightly ridiculous… but in a very funny amazing way. I love it… as do all the other women in your life I’m sure.
4. Awwww
July 28th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
hmm…what other debauchery can Little Filthy be trained to get into? let me think on this. i’ll get back to you on this one.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:43 am
kt – I might be willing to try a social experiment like that if I didn’t feel so guilty about being at the park without the little guy.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Bev – Little Filthy’s big thing is paper products like tissues and paper towels and napkins. He won’t bother actual sheets of paper or anything else. The most obnoxious thing he does is related to a cupboard and the toaster over. If I open a particular cupboard, he loses his mind. I don’t know why but he sticks his entire head in it and growls and pitches a fit. Same thing if I use the toaster over.
If only it were possible to train LF to do such things.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Tiffany – Little Filthy loves gum, too! He sniffs it out. Gum and undies. Date dream come true.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:59 am
SnarkyRunner – It was a small bag…not her purse.
I’m glad my ridiculous-ness pleases you.
Come visit and experience the mania up close.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Lily – I can only imagine what you might come up with. My dog can not fire dance however, if you can train him, I’d be very, very impressed.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:25 am
“I handed it to Besos. She sighed, took it from me and said, ‘Well, he’s definitely your dog.’”
Girl crush alert. I heart Besos!