Nuts.
1. Jesse Jackson sure stuck his foot in it with that open mic. Turns out he actually said the N-word. And I don’t mean the word ‘nuts’ when he said he’d like to cut Obama’s nuts off….which is so ridiculous, I hardly know how to respond to it. The odd thing is that just about 2-3 weeks ago, I ran into Jesse Jackson here in Chicago. I was surprised to see him alone and not with anyone. I hope someone is with him now, protecting his nuts.
2. Will some nice gay man please take Bev to see Mama Mia?
3. Speaking of nuts and gay men, The Italian’s current girlfriend wore a particular outfit in the bedroom that made him very happy. Her gay male friend chose it for her. The Italian wanted to thank said gay man and mid-ramble, casually said he’d lick this guy’s nuts. I said, “Whoa whoa whoa, back up, back up….”
He said, “Yes?”
I said, “Did you say lick his nuts or suck his nuts?”
He said, “I said lick. I’m not that gay.”
Intelligent repartee: don’t look for it here.
Share This
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am
3. “Not that gay”? How can you be not that gay? Is this like being not that pregnant or not that in jail? How does that work, exactly?
July 17th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I feel I’ve almost been rendered speechless by #3. But it made me laugh.
July 17th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Um, plz share what the outfit was!
July 17th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
3. Although I do have a friend (straight and married) who refers to herself as a ‘waist-up lesbian’ because she thinks breasts are pretty.
July 17th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
1. Not a fan of Jesse Jackson. Nothing he says surprises me, unfortunately.
2. How about Tim Gunn. I lurve him.
3. I’m so bummed that we won’t get to meet the Italian. I think he and Chris would hit it off swimmingly!
July 17th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
3 - either way, totally gay. GAY GAY GAY. Maybe Italian could take Bev to see Mamma Mia.
July 18th, 2008 at 8:23 am
1. Agreed. I think Jackson has been doing an admirable job recently of making himself look like a total and complete ass. FTW!
2. Heh! Bev told me she wanted to go. I said… umm.. No.
3. So many places to go with this one… so many places.
July 18th, 2008 at 11:20 am
#1. Why, Jesse? Why……
I have never been so proud of one African American politician (Obama) and so embarrassed by another (Jackson) simultaneously.
July 18th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Definitely NOT that Gay! Did the conversation happen with RE … yes, but if you saw the outfit that my girlfriend wore you would be saying the same thing to show your appreciation
By the way , Instigator is aptly named!
July 18th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I believe that not only would I get along phenomenally with Instigator… but… The Italian and I should be buds too. Seriously… RE, your new mission is to get me a job that won’t require me taking another bar but will pay me handsomly and allow me to be around you people! haha
July 18th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
1. Not surprising… I think Jesse Jackson’s verbal filter hasn’t always been so reliable.
2. I’ll take Bev to Momma Mia - no…I’m not a gay man. However she might have a better chance of getting into contact w/ me than she does Tim Gunn
At least she knows where I live!
3. I want to know what the heck she was wearing!!
July 19th, 2008 at 8:23 am
KT - *laugh* That’s what’s cool about The Italian. He says off the wall stuff and doesn’t care how it makes him sound.
That “waist-up lesbian” comment made me laugh.
Welcome to my blog, by the way - glad you commented.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:26 am
QTMama - Yeah, we’re ridiculous. You’ve got me singing, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…”
July 19th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Vittoria - I tried to convinced him to describe it because I can’t quite picture it when he describes it to me. He keeps saying, “It’s like SEE THROUGH.”
She might have been wearing saran wrap.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Bev -
2. Tim Gunn! He’s perfect for you. I bet he’d paint your toenails in bed.
3. I just tried to imagine them together. Wow, that’d be interesting. *laugh*
July 19th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Instigator - Okay, you know I got hassled because of your comment. Which, of course, I loved.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:29 am
lynchseattle -
1. It cracks me up whenever you say FTW!
2. Dude. That woman watched you complete GTA4. Come on! Though, I heard it was positively miserable.
3. GO THERE! DO IT!
July 19th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Schokolade Mädchen -
I know, right? Made me cringe and sigh.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:32 am
The Italian -
Dude. You are one horny hetero.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:53 am
SnarkyRunner - Come ‘ere and hang out. Instigator will adopt you. You two would be dangerous together.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Tiffany - Bev may know where Tim Gunn lives. She might be stalking him.
Bug the Italian to tell you what she was wearing!
July 19th, 2008 at 10:36 am
*sigh*
Tim Gunn and I could have a fabulous homo/hetero relationship!
He could paint my toenails and I’d swoon every time he said “make it work!”
Also, I’d be the best dressed person I know.
I think I need to stalk him.
July 19th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Thanks for coming by my blog. Your doggy is adorable, and anyone who has friends who say the kinds of things yours seem to are alright by me. “not THAT gay”?? Hahah!
July 21st, 2008 at 7:57 pm
damn that was funny.
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:49 am
Jesse needs to STFU. Seriously. That whole mess made me cringe.
Lynch needs to suck it up and take Bev to go see the damn musical. I’d reccomend earplugs, though, unless he wants dancing queen stuck in his head for a week.
The Italian is simply my new hero. He is freaking hilarious.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I think the Italian needs to take Bev to see Mama Mia and call it a day. Or am I mixing posts? Is that allowed here?
July 24th, 2008 at 7:44 am
Bev - Stalk! Stalk! I’ll do you a solid…I’ll do drive-bys with you when you want to know if he’s cheating on you with another woman.
Mindy - Oh man, is your blog on lockdown? Glad I got a glimpse before it went behind the iron curtain.
MsSingleMama - You are a good cheerleader.
Bird Clan Diva - The Italian is a pretty good guy to have for a hero. Want to borrow him?
Ms. Cheevious - *laugh* You’re not mixing posts. Yes, I think the Italian would be perfectly charmed to take Bev to see Mama Mia.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Wow. Yep, The Italian is my offical hero. And yuh, I don’t think his expression of grattitude is at all extreme.