Random Esquire

1. Spanish is not my second language. Or my third. Or, really, a fourth. In fact, I’m fairly ignorant when it comes to Spanish. However, I have been seeing a woman whose first language is Spanish and I have steadfastly refused to ask her to speak Spanish to me. You get what I mean, no? I figure this is common and I refuse to do it. The topic has not arisen much but today *cough* we actually discussed it when she asked me if I would care that if she did speak Spanish to me in bed, I would not understand it.I said, “No.”

She said, “NO? Wouldn’t you want to know what I was saying?!”

I said, “It doesn’t matter what you’re saying. In my head, I’m just going to imagine that it’s the filthiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She said, “WHAT?!”

I responded, “Which, by the way, is what everyone who doesn’t speak Spanish has been doing.”

We’re still seeing each other. I figure we’ve survived a hurdle. Namely, my personality.

2. I am off to D.C. on business this week. I’m often wont to hear advice from Instigator and promptly ignore it, to my own detriment. It has inspired me to refer to a ‘What would Instigator Do’ bracelet. I need one. For instance, despite the fact that I could leave the meetings I am attending at an earlier time, I conservatively chose to leave D.C. at a later time, taking the same flight at the boss. Instigator would not do this. Instigator does not have difficultly deciding if she’d rather fish or cut bait. When I told her when I was leaving, she said, “Are you kidding? Are you crazy? Random, Random, Random – were you not wearing your ‘WWID’ bracelet when you made these plans? *sigh*”

I make Instigator nuts.

3. Lynchseattle and Bev, his wife, are with their kids at Disney World. His Twitter update: “Never has such a variety of Croc-laden people been in such a close proximity. It looks like a clown convention.”