a little midnight thinking
I’m over at a friend’s family’s house, and the rest of the folks here have passed out. I’m somehow still awake, the only one not knocked unconscious by heavy drinking, which is unusual considering my moderately light tolerance…guess I wasn’t trying hard enough. Though spelling is a little difficult…thank goodness bloggers have spellcheck…
So a bit tipsy and sitting outside with a dying fire, I’m feeling introspective (okay, it doesn’t take alcohol and fires to make me introspective, I’m that way normally) and just wanted to put it out there:
Don’t ever take the ones you love for granted.
I don’t just mean that in the idea that you shouldn’t assume they’ll handle things they could do for you, or in any other trivial way. This week has been tough on my friends and family – an alarming number of people have wound up in the hospital or actually died during the past 7 days, and I’m feeling nervous whenever the phone rings right now. Today I got word that a friend’s dad had died, and not only was it unexpected, but the circumstances were just heartbreaking – this friend was out celebrating his bachelor party weekend, and his dad died while swimming in the ocean with his daughter, a 21-year old lifeguard. He was healthy and in decent shape, but the undertow caught him and there was just nothing she could do…
My folks are out of touch right now, up north at our cabin, and I’m going to be on high alert until they call me on Monday to let me know they’re heading home; RandomEsq is somewhere wandering around Europe and I’m going to be checking my email at insanely regular intervals to be sure that no emergency overseas flights are necessary; and my puppy is going to be leashed and watched like a hawk until this passes.
I’m not sure why I’m compelled to post this, as I’m not in need of sympathy or anything for myself. I guess that, in my drunken state, I just wanted to put it out there that life can change in an instant.
I was reading one of the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff books recently, waiting for my highlights to set at the salon, and got caught up by one section in a similar vein. It said that you should always act toward your loved ones as if this might be the last time you’re going to see them – never letting an argument continue out the door, never going to bed angry, never leaving for work without kissing someone goodbye and telling them you love them. I’d already taken that sentiment to heart but now…let’s just say that now, ain’t no way my loved ones are hanging up the phone or leaving for work without hearing just how much I love them. It’s worth every extra second.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:38 am
I’m so sorry for your friend, how awful.
I never get off the phone with my parents or let my husband leave for work without saying “I love you”. I always want that to be the last thing I said to them.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Plush – thanks for this post. I don’t think there can be enough reminders to cherish those you have … I lost my father to cancer when I was 21, so this idea is ingrained in me.
Keep your chin up.
Alaina
May 26th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I think that treating people the way you want them to remember you…like it could be the last time they see/talk to you is a good way to live. Hopefully, everyone wants to be remembered in a positive way! I’m a teacher and a boy in my class died a few years ago. He was in school on Friday, died on Saturday form a virus in his heart. No one saw it coming. His death hit the other students really hard. The boy was very mild mannered and an easy target to be picked on and made fun of. Picked on and made fun of he was, no matter what any adult did to watch out for him. Their memory of him was he was this geeky kid, with almost no friends, that was as nice as could be. The last thing he got from them was meaness. Breaks my heart just remembering it right now.
Anyway, keep your chin up. We can’t control anything or anyone except ourselves. Living by giving is the best way to be, in my opinion! I normally don’t share my introspect, but perhaps my experiences or circumstances are causing me to put my feelings “out there” too. My youngest son leaves for army basic training in 9 days. Talk about wanting to be sure someone knows you love them before they leave!!!
Thanks for your blog entry. It’s fun to be sarcastic and witty, Lord knows I love the crazy way everyday stuff is looked at in this blog, but sometimes it’s important to be humbly human!
Debbie
PS – it sounds like Random and Plush are missing each other!
May 27th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Ugh, what a terrible event
I’m sorry to hear that…
That’s good advice to live by, btw. I always make it a point, like Krystie said, to tell my parents or Bev or Cole I love them when I am out the door or going to bed.
I suppose you never can say exactly what the future holds, but I’ve always subscribed to the idea that you should live your life to the fullest because you don’t know when your last day will come. Again, I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s Dad and hope you don’t get any news like that again for a long time.
May 27th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Debbie – Your story of the boy everyone mistreated hit me pretty close to home, too. During my high school years, I was a pretty regular victim of the adolescent bullying, and so was a boy in my grade. He was smart, a talented musician, and very quiet; I can’t remember seeing him with any friends a single time between Kindergarten and graduation. After graduation, I hightailed it outta there and moved to the big city, giving the finger to all those adolescent assholes who made growing up so hard, but he stuck around, still trying to fit in. Halfway through my first semester of college, he committed suicide. I always regretted that I didn’t do more to help him, as caught up in my own drama as I was.
Krystie Lee, Alaina, and Lynchseattle – Thank you for your comments. The weekend was healing and helpful, just being around family and friends and trying to figure out what we can do to help from a distance. And thankfully, my folks made it back from the cabin without incident.
May 28th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I think it’s the easiest thing in the world to say… and still many of us forget to live like this. We take the ones we love for granted, assuming there will be time later to say all the things we want to say.
When our 3rd daughter nearly died from drowning two years ago it really hit home how quickly they could be taken from us. I tell them I love them more now than I ever did before.
Oh ya…single mama… My 2nd daughter’s name is Alaina as well. It’s such a pretty name