Guest Blog Entry by Instigator! (Cameos by Iknow! and Fresh Express.)
After weeks of cajoling, Instigator agreed to go a guest entry. Enjoy! -R
* * * * * * * * * By Instigator * * * * * * * * *
I believe the genesis of almost every great friendship can be traced back to a single moment. A pinpoint in time when you heard the ‘ding ding ding’ in your head and realized you, and your theretofore acquaintance, were going to become great friends. So there was this new kid at work, and after a few weeks of a welcome lunch here, a watercooler chat there, I was somewhat intrigued but not certain whether this Randomesq was true work friend material. When we were both invited to a wedding by the office know it all (Iknow!), I looked at it as a possible opportunity to get to know RE better. Plus, my main motivation was I wanted to meet Boss. But first I needed to find out if RE was in, so I commenced to ichat.
Me: Hey, so did “I Know” invite you to her wedding?
RE: Yeah, I did get the invitation the other day.
Me: So, uh, have to decided, are you and Boss going??
<pause>
RE: To tell you the truth, we don’t really like weddings. We are funny that way. So I don’t think we are going to go. You?
<pause>
Me: I don’t think I’m going either. Honestly I thought it was weird she invited me.
RE: I thought it was a little weird too.
Me: Because we’re not friends. I’ve never even had lunch with her. Why would she want me to go to her wedding? I wouldn’t invite her to my wedding.
RE: I thought the exact same thing. Doesn’t she have any real friends?
Everyone is free to plan the wedding they have always dreamed of. But personally, I would have never thought of inviting a bunch of miscellaneous coworkers that I had never so much as had coffee with to witness my marriage. And in that moment, when I knew RE was thinking the very same thing, I believe we both realized we would be fast friends. In hindsight, I wish we had gone. We missed the rare opportunity to see Fresh Express in her more formal attire. She too was invited, and attended with her sister as her date. One can only imagine the wealth of strangeness that we would have witnessed. As a wedding gift, Fresh Express told me she purchased a salad spinner. Is that too perfect or what??
Share This
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:00 am
When C and I got married, we had requested NO GIFTS on our invitations. It didn’t stop people from bringing all sorts of weird gifts, though.[1] One person got us a Salad Shooter. It’s a contraption where you put, say, a cucumber in one end and it shoots out the other end, sliced. It appeared to have been a regift, as the box was kind of banged up. First off, who the hell would give that as a gift — let alone one that was possibly used? It’s not like the person should have felt obligated to bring a gift — after all, we’d specifically said “no gifts” on the invitations. We never found out who the giver was — there was no card on the box. Hell, if that were my wedding gift, I probably would have skipped the card, too. Maybe Fresh Express came to my wedding and I didn’t know it!
[1] Other fun gifts included a weird sculpture-like thing (which our cat peed on when we brought it home), and a basket of potpourri. Because we’re huuuuuge fans of potpourri. Yup.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am
I heart you.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I heart you too…
May 14th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Instigator is fabulous.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
First… let’s start an Instigator Fan Club! We can have a secret hand shake and everything!
Second… I REALLY want to see FE in her wedding finery. That has to be fab to a degree I’ve yet to witness.
Third… I got some weird wedding gifts too. Scott’s step-monster gave us a chip and dip bowl that looked like a frog on a lilly pad, with the frogs open mouth being the spot you put the salsa in. Because EVERYONE wants to eat what looks like frog vomit with chips!! Scott’s dad offered to pay for our honeymoon as our gift. We ended up spending five days in the Lawrence Welk Dessert Oasis next door to Irene and Marty who were old enough to fart dust. We were the only ones there under 100 years old. Good times… Wedding gifts should be outlawed. Just be nice, give cash. LOL!
May 14th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Wow. So well-written
I wish someone would sneak a photo of Fresh Express. But that’s so evil of me, isn’t it? I want to know exactly what she looks like 
Tee hee.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Thank you all for the kind words, I am blushing a little.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Nice instigator!
Yes, it’s very, very sad when people (who don’t have any real friends) get married. Once I had a girl ask me to be her bridesmaid. I was shocked – we’re friends, really?
I didn’t go.
I hate weddings too. Such a waste of my fricking time – unless I love the person getting married – then it’s fabulous.