BFD, Sister, Whiskey, and Little Filthy.
1. I did not have lunch with Instigator today. This is because she is on a task-force of sorts to handle deals worth a lot of scratch. Suspiciously sounding like an honor, it is actually more of a burden which we refer to as a “big fuckin’ deal” – much like one might say “who the fuck cares.” We have an understanding. If either of us is busy and the other walks into our office, we simply give that look that says, “Get out” and the other doesn’t take it personally. Today was my day to not take it personally because Instigator was up to her neck in some big fuckin’ deal. Bah!
2. My sister sometimes says things that strike me as ridiculous. She was watching me change my niece’s diaper to make sure I was doing it right. I sprinkled some powder and my sister said, “You’re salt and peppering the baby.” Is it just me or does that strike anyone else as offensively funny in a way? Then, there was the time she said she would show her children the movie Mystic River as a cautionary tale against running away by telling them, “That’s what happens to kids who run away.” The other day, she was talking about my niece and potty training and said something like, “Getting her off of diapers is like pulling her from a line of coke.” Dude. That’s just wrong.
3. I took a sleep-aid 90 minutes ago. This is because I am trying to go to bed earlier to reset my clock before I head overseas. I typically go to bed around 1 in the morning. Bad. It is now 10 p.m. and I am still wide awake. Dumb pills. Maybe I didn’t wash them down with enough whiskey chaser.
4. I have not yet told Little Filthy that he will be staying at Chez Parents while I am gone. He…has a bit of a reputation staying with them. Sort of like a rock star at a hotel. There was the time he baked a potato on my mother’s expensive oriental rug – which my pregnant sister discovered. With her foot. Or the time he ate my father’s ear plugs…which I discovered when he returned home and promptly pooped them out…all told in a nice little picture story here.
5. I, stupidly, taught Little Filthy how to lick on command. I say, “Kiss. Do it!” in my certified broken, third half-ass language and he will run up and give my cheek a lick, after which he is rewarded with a small treat. Unfortunately, Little Filthy does not associate his obeying the command with a treat so much as the actual licking. And so if he decides he wants a treat, he’ll just lick the shit out of me. *sigh*
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am
1. I love friends like this. Ones that you can just look at and they know what’s going through your head.
2. HA!
3. At least you don’t get jittery when you take sleep aids like I do!
4. LF is going to be SO happy to see your parents. Poor parents… they agree to do the silliest things, like watch our pets!
5. That’s kind of cute! Although I can imagine it does not bode well for when you are trying to sleep! hahahha
May 14th, 2008 at 10:57 am
LF is quite simply adorable.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
1. it’s nice to have friends who understand your mutterings and eye twitches and don’t take such things personally. We all need that kind of friend!
2. I feel for your sis… we too are potty-training. After a day of missed attemps I feel like I could use a line of coke! Okay, not really…. but it’s crazy annoying getting those little poops in the proper recepticle.
3. you’re not trying hard enough…
4. My inlaws won’t keep Izzy and Lulu anymore. There have been a couple issues. When Lulu is pissed she likes to make it known by crapping in your shoe! Ya… she’s a cutie isn’t she?
5. I can’t train the pugs to do anything… thank god breathing is an automatic function. Cute NOT smart.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am
1. The best friends are those you are comfortable with and can make and cancel plans with ease. Those are the ones you keep close
2. Hehe, I pictured you taking a pinch of powder and drizzling it from your hand as if lightly salting a fine recipe.
3. There’s some good news here. You really don’t know how your body will react to the newfound timezone, but in general most people have a hard time coming back. Of course, my wife has broken down into tears after arrival in a sleep deprived state of upsettedness, but still.
4. That was the best story ever! Heh! Perfect pictures
My dogs have done excellent work of laying down some steamers as well when being watched. In particular, Bailey (black lab mix), upon picking her up after a vacation will drop a hot turd on our floor the second we walk in as a way to show she’s upset with us leaving her. Sigh.
5. So cute! Unfortunately I wouldn’t want Bailey to lick my face. Heh. She’s… uhmmm… a coprophiliac.