In which I am completely unreasonable about Jif commercials. And say Dude too much.
You may know that I take issue with a Smucker’s commercial for their use of a kid named Dick Smucker. I take issue with two Jif commercials, too.
But first – it sort of bugs me that all these commercials feature open face peanut butter sandwiches to show off the product but, in reality, no parent is going to give their kid a sandwich with an entire exposed side of peanut butter. Well, at least, they won’t do it twice. Here are the ads that bug me:
1. One slice of bread left, two kids. They both want peanut butter on bread. Mom spreads peanut butter on said lone slice of bread, which the kids will share. The mom tells kid #1, “You cut.” Kid #1 cuts. She says that kid #2 gets to choose which ‘half’ he wants.
Dude, oldest trick in the book, right? Only, the reason it works is because the kid doing the cutting knows that the other kid gets to choose which piece he wants. The problem in the commercial is that the kid cuts the bread first and then the mom says that the other kid gets to choose. This bugs me.
2. Grandpa is making an open face peanut butter sandwich for his granddaughter. He calls it a work of art. He carves a J into the peanut butter and says, “J for JoAnna!” Then he cuts it in half and says, “Incredible! Not just one masterpiece…but two!” The kid smirks – Grandpa jokes suck on television, too. Then he says, “Now…who can I share this with?”
Dude, you just freakin’ carved her initials into the sandwich. It’s her sandwich now, old man. Back off.
Hmm. I might have a little cranky grandpa thing going on here myself. Bah!
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:11 am
I often time make assessments like this whenever… well… the TV is on.
The news often aggravates me because it has dark, thematic music play with the goofiest segments. I’m like, seriously, they’re playing this music for the weather report? It makes it sound like there’s a tsunami headed towards Seattle with a 50% chance of fireballs.
But most commercials are just too cheesy for me. They live in some strange world where time never progressed past the 1950’s. Said commercials up above could show up on Nick at Night one day in the future and people will look back laugh about how we used to forget to put the other half of the bread on the sandwich.
Oh those goofy people from 2008.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:13 am
BTW the news has two special “investigations” they’re running commercials right now: the current housing market is causing more divorces (chances are you will also get divorced is the subtext I think), and how sex offenders are living under bridges near schools (and will probably steal your children).
Sigh.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:37 am
The downward spiral of humanity is directly related to the advent of Viagra commercials.
I just know this in my heart to be the truth.
Having cheezolla commercials about vaginal itch and tampons wasn’t enough… now we have middle aged men singing “viva viagra” and pretending to enjoy this humiliation.
PB&J is the least of our problems… lol…
May 12th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
[...] Random Esq had this post that got me thinking. I say dude too much. However, it’s ONLY with Twitch, Googlie [...]
May 12th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Dude is a bad habit. I say it mostly when I talk to you on the phone – you’re the cause of a bad habit!
Chris gets way too upset over things on TV – especially Paula Abdul and American Idol. Cole and I just look at him like…uh ok
We’re used to it by now. Tivo has virtually eliminated commercials for us so I don’t get too caught up in the details
May 12th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Ok. Who the hell has ONE piece of bread. Seriously. When I have kids, I’m not going to play cruel jokes on them like that. One piece!? That bothers me.
I missed u!
May 13th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Long Live DVR!
May 13th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Whenever I eat a sandwich or a burger, I never eat the top slice of bread/bun. I slide it back as I am eating to enable myself to hold the sandwich/burger between my thumb/fingers in the ‘normal’ way. And then at the end I’m left with half a bun or the top slice of bread. I believe I have saved thousands of calories over the years. And I never give my kid 2 slices of bread. I’ll spread the pbj or turkey or whatever over one slice, then foldover. Bread=empty calories. I’m a freak!
May 13th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Lynchseattle – See, you share my hatred for stupid commercials! It’s not unnatural. It’s just good, solid editing techniques that we share. Sex offenders live under bridges? I thought they lived at McDonald’s Play-lands.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Tiffany – I saw that Viva Viagra ad for the first time the day you made this comment. I couldn’t believe it. I’d seen one on YouTube but thought they’d all been pulled until I saw it on the television.
You could not pay me enough money to sing Viva Viagra.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Bev – I gave you numbered lists and struck you down with Dude. The Good Esquire giveth and taketh away.
Chris and I could bitch our hearts out, watching tv.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Miss Meghan! Hello there.
How’re you doing?
Yeah, I don’t know who only has one slice of bread. And it wasn’t even an end piece. Who eats the end before a middle piece? It just doesn’t make any sense.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Geekgirl – heh. I have TiVo but I always see these ads in the morning, during the Today show, when I watch it live.
Live TV is for luddites!
May 13th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Instigator I’m trying to recall you eating a burger like that. Huh. Interesting.
I’m surprised your kid hasn’t convinced some neighbor kid to whitewash the fence and make her a two-slice PB&J on demand.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Funny looking and sounding grandma. Must of been years of smoking.
[quote]2. Grandma is making an open face peanut butter sandwich for his granddaughter. [/quote]