Comments on: Note to Instigator: Fresh Express is not a weapon.

By: Random Esquire

Random Esquire — Thu, 08 May 2008 05:59:09 +0000

MissMegs – Do you ever wonder what became of Jacinda? Seems like such an odd child. I wonder why she picked up trash all through recess.

Bev – I’ll have to write about her finding out about my trip. Christ, she was depressing! That’s a whole other entry.

LynchSeattle – Yeah, I totally wonder what her home looks like.

Instigator – The cackle was implied. heh. I’m not sure I could work out to a ballet DVD. In fact, I’m sure I couldn’t. Can’t I just lift some weights?

Tiffany – Fortunately (I guess), Fresh Express has no need of a bra. Christ, I hate even *knowing* that.

Lily – Yes, you’re on the right track. Instigator = good. FE = bad.

Geekgirl – Seriously?! That just made me laugh out loud – your MOM? That’s sort of hilarious that she buys you pig things since you’re in law enforcement.

By: geekgirl

geekgirl — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:20:58 +0000

hmm… FE seems to be a LOT like my own mother! Ever since hubby and i got into law enforcement, any gift we receive from her is PIG-oriented. I won’t even describe the BBQ lighter that looked like a sex-toy but in fact was a long, pink pig with round head at the end where flames came out of the snout, that I ended up throwing away after my husband brought out at a party for show and tell, and oops, i guess i did just describe it.

I mean to say… she obsesses and imagines her life story as well as others’ and acts upon it. And she wears weird clothes and huge glasses too.

By: lily

lily — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:10:36 +0000

I think I heart Instigator too. But FE? Not so much.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Wed, 07 May 2008 15:02:35 +0000

Okay, now this is weird. Connie (the incredibly odd former boss) never wore a bra either. Boy did she need one too. Those poor girls were vising her bellybutton on many an occasion.

I seriously think they’re cousins at the very least. Ask FE if she’s ever owned sheer MC Hammer style pants. If the answer is yes then they may be twins seperated at birth.

By: Instigator

Instigator — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:20:59 +0000

Hey I take offense – I don’t cackle. Giggle perhaps. Maybe snicker. Not cackle. I also don’t have warts on my face or wear a pointy black hat. My intentions were good – I know you are into the whole working out thing, I figured maybe you and FE could do a workout at lunch in the conference room. Cause I don’t put that past her. Now there’s a visual.

By: lynchseattle

lynchseattle — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:48:42 +0000

Hehe – I love the Fresh. Stuff like this makes you wonder what she’s like when she’s not in the office. It has to get even stranger from there. I suspect that you’ve just seen the tip of the iceberg

By: Bev

Bev — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:24:06 +0000

Oh I loves me some Fresh Express entries. You just made my morning. Christmas in May, I tell ya! Does she know about your upcoming trip? I would expect lots of “travel” articles to appear on your desk

By: MissMegs

MissMegs — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:09:14 +0000

Oh my. I have some weird coworkers but damn. Fresh Express reminds me of someone I went to Elementary school with. Her name was Jacinda. She always walked around with a paper bag at recess picking up trash instead of playing. The dried up snot in her nose looked a lot like cobwebs. And she also had huge saucer glasses.

By: Random Esquire

Random Esquire — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:44:10 +0000

Brenda, I kid you not. What was your chemistry teacher like?

By: Random Esquire

Random Esquire — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:37:15 +0000

Tiffany – She doesn’t wear a bra. I’m pretty sure I’d look like some sort of perv if I snapped a picture. You’ll just have to let your imagination run wild.

They could entirely be related. No telling!