Fridays, Compliments, Guinness, Dinner and Plush Blogging.
1. Oh, Friday, thou art more beautiful than D cups.
2. Just when I thought I might write something a bit more thoughtful, something stupid (and untrue) comes out my fingers like #1.
3. My personal challenge to compliment a stranger went bust. Let me tell you why. Because compliments are supposed to be thoughtful and the most thought I could muster up for a complete stranger had something to do with how he or she (and invariably, it was a she) looked and that seemed, well, creepy. I tried again today but the closest I came was complimenting a woman on her parallel parking and that just didn’t seem quite right, either. Tomorrow is a new day. I’ll give it another go.
4. If you had a record in the Guinness Book of World Records, what would it be? This came to mind amid the David Blaine hub-bub that took place here in Chicago earlier this week. You know which one is disgusting? Longest fingernails. There’s not enough cocaine in the world to excuse that.
5. Dinner and drinks tonight. Followed by dinner and drinks tomorrow night. In fact, dinner and drinks for the rest of my life. It sort of makes me tired just thinking about it.
6. Europe is two weeks away. Perhaps Plush will hold down the blog front while I am away. I suspect I would return to find my blog turned into a coffee klatsch of debauchery and mayhem, all skillfully orchestrated by an innocent looking Plush.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Regarding compliments: You could always try, “Hey, you have the NICEST tits I’ve ever seen!”. And then run. The exciting part would be seeing how far you get.
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 am
Is it stupid and untrue because Nothing is more lovely in your eyes than D cups? Or because in all honestly you find D cups are not that lovely? I confess my confusion here.
Debauchery and Mayhem you say? Now that’s something worth logging on everyday to see… you really should just let Ms. Plush run wild and we’ll all benefit from her expertise in these areas.
As for my world record? Either the longest telephone message on an answering machine - I’m famous for long drawn out bouts of what essentially is me, talking to myself, on some poor soul’s answering machine - or it would be longest rambling, run on, disjointed sentance.
I’m sure you’ve noticed my tendency towards well… talking too much…
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:51 am
I think I may try the compliment thing too. Will be a bit of a challenge to shift the brain from its default position of looking for things to mock, but hey, maybe that’s a good thing?
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:48 am
I prefer to mock. Albeit silently. In my head.
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:55 am
Avitania - This strikes me as the kind of suggestion aimed more toward your entertainment value than my personal fulfillment as a human being.
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:57 am
Tiffany,
It is stupid because it’s sort of a ridiculous comparison. And it is untrue because EVERY DAY WITH D CUPS IN YOUR LIFE IS LIKE FRIDAY. D cups are lovely. So very, very lovely.
I don’t think you’d be prepared for what Plush might thrust upon you. Truly. I just shivered.
I believe this about the telephone message. Heh. I wish I could hear it.
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:14 am
RE: Maybe a little.
While I was at the gym this morning, I thought about what my Guinness World Record would be. I once had a boyfriend who said that if I were a Marvel Comics superhero, my name would be Sarcastro, and my sidekick would be a dog named Irony. So my Guinness World Record would be “Longest Train of Dry Commentary.”
Unless there is a record for “Number of Times Respawned From Getting Ass Kicked in Online Multiplayer Halo.” I’d also win that one hands-down.
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:05 am
1. Do you discriminate against tits smaller than D’s? Are you willing to accept one size down? Think about the sagging factor and get back to me hehe.
4. You never told us what yours would be. I’m curious :o)
I think mine would be the number of foods I enjoy slathering with A1 sauce.
6. You won’t be able to blog at all in Europe? :o( I loved Plushs entry but it would be nice to get some details about what scandals you are involved in while there.
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:31 am
Advice on #3, always compliment someone’s shirt or something, that way you’re really just complimenting their style.
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am
Hmm. If a stranger complimented me on my ability to parallel park it would make my day! But then I’d actually have to parallel park well enough for a man to notice…. hmmm. I doubt it is going to happen. I am parking challenged. Can drive like a bat outta hell but parking well…not so much.
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I compliment strangers all the time. I like your necklace. That color looks really nice on you. Nice SHOES! Wow, where’d you get your hair cut? Can I ask you a question…and on and on.
I don’t know how I ever started doing that, but I just do it without thinking, now that you’ve made me think about it. People (both men and women) really seem to like it. It makes me happy to be nice, too.
Of course, I live in a city that is known for it’s friendly people. When I lived in Ithaca (which is NOT a city, even though it calls itself one–guffaw) last year, I did this same kind of thing, and people turned away, snubbed me, or looked at me like I was nuts. It was a major shock to my system. I hadn’t experienced people being suspicious when you were just being friendly and nice.
Anyway. THAT year is like a bad dream
Try again. Pretty soon, it will be second nature
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
AND EUROPE??? but but but…i want to go….please don’t say you’re going to PARIS. i might have to hate you. or love you
i’m not sure which! tee hee.
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Avitania - I love dry commentary. Break your own record!
MissMegs - I don’t discriminate.
Hmmm, my world record might be for most patience shown a woman. I dated Boss, remember?
Mamaphunk - that is perfect! That’s what I need to do.
Colleen - It’s definitely a practice makes perfect kind of skill. Bat out of hell, huh? heh.
Brenda - Chicagoans are pretty friendly but I expect I might get one or two funny looks. But I’m for a challenge! And yes, Europe. Yes, going to Paris, down through the Burgundy region, into Austria, Germany, Switzerland and about a week in Italy.
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I think my world record would be for longest talking without letting someone get in a word edgewise. I once told a friend “you’ll know I’m actually blotto if I’m constantly chattering” and she was all “so… all the time then?” and I responded, oh, silly friend, “no no, this is good, you got to say something. When smashed I ask questions then fill in the time until the next thing I have to say with “whaddya think whaddya think whaddya think”.
Yes. That is it. Have fun at your drinks and d cups. Dinner? Whatever.
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:19 pm
3 - Now I think I need to think of a way to try this myself. Complimenting a stranger on things other than looks is certainly a challenge, but I think it’s doable. I may attempt this myself
4 - Longest amount of days eating the same thing over and over and over. I can totally do it. Some people would “get sick of” something. Not me. I could eat oatmeal every meal, every day, all the time, same bat time, same bat channel. It drives my wife nuts
5 - Unfortunately there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When I was down in Argentina we went out to something posh and wonderful every night. By the end, I just wanted like… oatmeal.
6 - Jealous!! Take me with!
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:35 am
I can’t believe you’re leaving in 2 weeks! That’s just unfair…but my dear, I will gladly blog in your absence and hopefully keep the faithful audience entertained.
I’m thinking maybe daily entries of increasingly dirty revisiting of my debaucherous pre-RandomEsq life. By the time you get back your blog will require passwords and background screening to protect the innocent…
Debaucherous is a word. And if it wasn’t, it is now. If Beyonce can claim bootylicious, I get debaucherous.
May 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 am
Plush, I vote that he take you with him!