Say what?
1. As I mentioned earlier, Plush is ill. Earlier today, I asked if she’d eaten anything. Her response: “Yes, I ate some soup, some Jamba, and some Chef Boyardee ravioli, and that last was probably not a great idea…” How about that. I didn’t now they still made Chef Boyardee. Or that he had the nerve to call himself a Chef. But, whatever.
2. Instigator did not have a good day. Too much travel and too many frustrations have left her feeling on the brink. The Company head cheese sent out a company-wide e-mail today on following the code of conduct. Instigator forwarded the e-mail to me and said, “Did you get this? Or was this directed specifically towards me? Just trying to figure out what I’ve done…”
I wrote back, “I didn’t get that. What’d you do? This time?”
Her response?
“I hate you.”
3. The Ballerina told us last night that she’d taken pole dancing lessons.
Pole dancing lessons.
I think I choked on my pie.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 29th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Too bad you didn’t have any leftovers to take over to sick plush
Pole dancing lessons. Hmmmm. Well, she’s a ballerina anyway. It’s just another kind of dancing
Every woman’s fantasy perhaps? 
April 29th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
1. Plush, feel better!!! And… stop eating meals from a can! Not yummy!!
2. I wish I worked with you two. Maybe I can take the Illinois bar next…
3. I’ve taken pole dancing lessons and stripping classes as well. A lot of gyms offer them.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
1. Chef Boyardee?! Nasty! Stop blogging and take that poor girl some real food!
3. Pole dancing sounds SO fun, it’s really popular right now. If I had ANY room in my house, I’d put a pole in tomorrow. It would be way more fun than a treadmill!
April 30th, 2008 at 5:54 am
Am I the only one who likes Chef Boyardee? I like the mini raviolis (they fit in my mouth better. totally doesn’t sound right.)
Don’t get me wrong, I love fine dining. But raviolis are good every once in a while. I think the reason I like them is because I was deprived of canned garbage food when I was little. I also have a thing for fruit roll ups now too. I just look at it as making up for lost time.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Brenda – Honestly, of the pole dancing I’ve seen in my lifetime (which is not much), I have not been terribly aroused. But if I saw the woman I was with doing it….YOWZA.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:38 am
SnarkyRunner – Do it. Come work here. Oh, but that might mean I had two Work Girlfriends. Oh well, I think I can handle that.
WHAT? You’ve taken pole dancing lessons, too? You know, Snarky, perhaps I shall just sit down with UO and ask him what the fook is the problem.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Krystie Lee – Tell you what….if you find the space, I’ll help you install the pole when I’m there in June. Because, seriously, I can only imagine how hilarious it would be to watch everyone take a whirl on that thing.
Be sure to have Lysol on hand.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:42 am
MissMegs – Here’s what is AWESOME about you. You will chime in and ask a question like, “Am I the only one who likes Chef Boyardee?” Nope! I used to love it. I just don’t remember it much now and don’t think I’d particularly enjoy it now – but I used to!
I like fine dining but sometimes, I’m all about junk. Sugar cereals are the best because I didn’t get them as a kid. And Boss LOVES fruit roll ups – though, I don’t think she was deprived of anything at any time in her life. Ha!
I love that you asked the question because I’m no food snob. I eat just about everything. I dig you, Miss Megs!
April 30th, 2008 at 7:19 am
We had “friends” (read: single bachelor dudes) who had a pole in their basement. They invited “anyone” (read: hot females) who wanted to try it to give it a whirl. Somehow I don’t think that anyone was using it as a workout
Sometimes there is a craving that dare not speak its name: Chef Boy-ar-dee mini raviolis. Brings me back to my childhood. My unrelated “twin” brother (next door neighbor kid who looked just like me) and I would “cook” each other Mini Raviolis for lunch in the summer. One day at his house and one day at mine. It’s amazing I have any sort of palate these days.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am
RE: Thank you darling, I did you too. I’m blushing
)
Bev: you too? I actually thought that mini raviolis were a new thing lol. That shows how few times they were around my house as a kid. I wish I had something that easy to cook on summer days. I used to always complain to my dad, and he’d say “cook something! I’m not buying that junk!”. I’m surprised I never burned the house down.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:46 am
RE: I’m not sure how up for another bar exam I am, but we can discuss this further later on. And, if I HAVE to share you with Instigator, that’s OK. I’ll be able to deal
HAHA… Maybe you should… or maybe we should keep this part of my persona a secret and I can whip it out one night and amaze him. Although, dare I say, I amaze him on a pretty nightly basis already… haha
April 30th, 2008 at 10:04 am
1. Poor Plush… be a sweetie, make her something yummy and save her from the Chef. It’s the least you can do, and it’s in your best interest really… you know it’s true.
2. When I was a collection agent (Yes… I said it…please don’t throw rank monkfish at me!) I would get those memos. I’m still now sure what I was doing – but I realized pretty quickly they were not being sent company wide. I was the office problem child I’m afraid.
3. Ahhh… pole dancing… The very best way to never pay for your own alcohol. In my 20′s I can honestly say I never once had to pay for my own drinks. Boys are just so easy to manipulate… sorry R.E. but it’s the truth.
There are some skills that just end up paying for themselves. Knowing basic home repair, coloring my own hair, and having double jointed hips… those were good times
April 30th, 2008 at 10:04 am
That meant to say… still NOT sure what I was doing…
April 30th, 2008 at 11:06 am
pole dancing lessons are AWESOME. they’ll be even more awesome when *I* start teaching them! woohoo!
April 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Snarky I’m not sure I want to share my work girlfriend status. Then again Random and I are together in the office only once a week so on second thought, I bet RE is cheating on me anyway. So ok – I mean I bet we end up like the wives at the polygamist compound who share the same husband and are like best friends. We are not going for the weird hair up-dos though.
Tiffany you crack me up. I never paid for drinks when I was single either. Actually, I still don’t
April 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Oh R. I didn’t mean it was YOUR fantasy or that it would arouse you. I meant it might be a woman’s fantasy to strip for men in that way…tee hee. I might have even written an erotic story to that effect. But that’s another matter…
April 30th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I hear that Ms. Instigator
Sometimes it pays to be a girl. God willing I’ll be old and grey and some wrinkled dude in suspenders and fedora will still buy my drinks!
LOL, being an avid flirter doesn’t hurt though…. you gotta admit it… A smile and little bit o’ the womanly wiles works every time. Even if it’s just on your own husband!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Bev – that’s hilarious that your guy friends had a pole!
Cute story about your neighbor. I don’t think I’ve ever had the mini raviolis. Just how tiny are the things?
April 30th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
SnarkyRunner – Keeping that fine bit of information from UO is no less than abuse.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Tiffany – You were the office problem? heh. How so?
Men are easy to manipulate, huh? Nah, I’m not offended. I’m inclined to agree. heh.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Lily – are you really going to teach them? This would not surprise me.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Instigator – How come you don’t mind sharing me with my work wife? Maybe we can call Snarky a work mistress.
More than the hair-do, I want to see you in one of those farmer dresses with black stockings.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Brenda -
I AM HERE TO MAKE THOSE FANTASIES COME TRUE.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I’m quite sure you can find someone whose fantasies you can indulge
Can you write some more about little filthy? I told you, I’m liking his little mug more and more. I want to know more about this little beast
May 1st, 2008 at 12:21 am
Apparently I was too nice to the people who owed us money.
I just figured it was easier to get money out of people who like you. So I talked to them, learned their names – made notes and remembered to ask about their families when I called.
My boss thought I was too “social” and I wasn’t paid to be their friends.
I also tossed out crap in the public fridge that smelled like ass…. even if it was someone’s lunch. OOPS!! How was I supposed to know someone would actually put that in their mouth??
Then there was the time I was freezing and my cheap ass boss wouldn’t let us turn up the heat so I brought in a space heater and a huge orange extension cord and ran it accross the room to his office and plugged it in.
I think I should avoid the office environment for future employment…
May 1st, 2008 at 8:39 am
Work mistress sounds perfect to me!