Speaking of…chewing, swallowing, commitments, and mornings.
1. I can’t tell if I am fascinated or slightly turned off by watching people chew. I don’t mean watching them eat. I mean, specifically, watching them chew. There’s something so… atavistic about it. I find myself thinking, “There is food in that person’s mouth which is too large for them to swallow, so they are mashing it up in their teeth and soaking it with saliva.” That’s really just unflattering, for anyone.
2. Speaking of, it sometimes strikes me as completely absurd that my entire life depends upon me continuing to put things in my mouth and swallowing them. What the hell? I’m pretty sure my mother spent the first 5 years of my life preventing me from this very activity. But now, I’m destined to a life of it, more or less. It’s a commitment.
3. Speaking of, have you had a Chloraseptic lozenge lately? If you have a sore throat or a cough, it feels good for about 5 minutes, max. Then it just starts to suck but about 90% of the cough drop is left. Putting one of those things in your mouth is a commitment. And if you fall asleep with it in your mouth, you wake up in the morning with a numb tongue.
4. Speaking of, I’m a morning person. Do you know that most people dislike morning people? I think it’s envy. Envy that we wake up like dogs. 3 seconds upon waking, you’d never be able to tell we were asleep. I wake up and think, “What’s next?” This isn’t to say that I can’t be talked into staying in a warm bed. Well, maybe not so much talked as convinced.
5. Speaking of, Plush will be accompanying me to a small gathering on Thursday night. She’s quite a peach.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:12 am
I’ve always had a strange fascination with watching people eat as well. When someone eats with their mouth open, it disturbs in a very profound way.
I can’t say why, but when I’m at a restaurant and see someone OM NOM NOMing with mouth agape I want to walk over there and punch them in the face.
I believe I need help.
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 am
I’m a morning person as well. But then again, I also like Mondays so I know that I’m firmly in the “weird” camp. I don’t wake up quickly, and I like to loll (is that a word) around a bit in the morning but I definitely get more done between 8-12 than I do for the rest of the day. Of course, we are usually in bed bt 9:30-10 so we’re up early.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
“Do you know that most people dislike morning people? I think it’s envy. Envy that we wake up like dogs. 3 seconds upon waking, you’d never be able to tell we were asleep.”
This is so, so true. I am most definitely NOT a morning person. The only time that I want to see the sun come up is when I’m still awake from having watched it go down the previous evening. If I’ve been sleeping, it takes me at least (and I’m not kidding) 1-2 hours to fully acclimate to the fact that I am now no longer comfortably wrapped in blankets and ignorant to the world around me.
I am a cranky ass bitch in the morning.
My dog, by the way, takes a lot more than 3 seconds to wake up too – I think I’m a bad influence…
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I used to wake-up my husband on weekend mornings with a little made-up jingle. Something along the lines of, “Seize the day seize the day seize the day,” sung to the tune of a techno song that I can no longer remember. I didn’t want to miss a single minute of the weekend.
Nowadays my morning enthusiasm is usurped by my kids, who are relentless morning people. However I don’t think I’ll ever completely lose my zest for mornings, especially weekend mornings, when the day is what you make of it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:23 pm
I am not a morning person. I wake up very slowly and deliberately. I linger. I watch the Today show. I roll over. If I’m lucky, my husband brings me a cup of coffee (morning person that he is). Lucky for me, my kid, who wakes up at 7 like an alarm clock, has learned that she doesn’t need me in the morning. By age 4 she had mastered the remote (at 6 she has Tivo down), she can surf (for all I know she is reading randomesq – oooh scary!), she can toast her own eggo. All while I roll around, waiting until the very last moment to crawl out from under the covers.
So, I do not envy morning people, I am an unabashed fan. Especially of the ones that make the coffee, and bring it to me bedside. Who should envy who in the end?
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I am one of those individuals with persistant insomnia. Ever since my children were born I sleep very little. I need four hours, I’m in heaven when I get six, and any more than that leaves me feeling odd and off balance for the rest of the day.
Then about once every six weeks I need a good 15 hours sleep, and you would likely have to set my ass on fire to get me out of bed because I’m dead to the world.
I’m huge on comfort/luxery in my bed/bedding choices too. Even though I’m only there a few hours a night I don’t mess around. Only the very best I can afford goes on my bed.
I actually have a theory that you can tell nearly everything you need to know about a person by their bedroom. It’s the most personal area in most people’s homes, and how they decorate it, how they leave it when they aren’t home, their bed etc. it tells you a ton about a person.
I love mornings. I love the quiet of the house before anyone else is up. I like to make myself a latte and sit with the pugs and be still, plan out my day, daydream….I daydream a lot in the early morning hours.
I love to watch people eat. I never really pay attention to the chewing aspect, I like to watch their eyes, or how they gesticulate with their fork/spoon etc. It’s the instant reaction I enjoy. Now I’m going to be staring at people chewing…lol… Thanks Random…
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Synthetic – Eating with mouth open…I don’t get it. If you have lips, there’s just no excuse. I laugh every time I read NOM NOM NOM.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Bev – 9:30 – 10?! That’s really good. I need to get on that schedule. I’m averaging about 5 hours a night lately. The Monday love puzzles me. I admit.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Plush – I know I shouldn’t dig that you’re cranky in the morning…but I do. I’m a glutton for punishment.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Angie – Why aren’t women waking me up singing songs?!
That’s how I feel about weekends. I don’t want to miss any of it by sleeping in. It makes me feel like I wasted a perfectly good, full day by only using half of it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Instigator – For all you know, your daughter is Ghost-writing Randomesq. That kid is wise beyond her years.
I need a people-who-sleep-in fan club to fully appreciate my morning goodness. Now I get up and bring coffee to the coffee table which is then sipped by Little Filthy.
I declare this short of the mark.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Tiffany – good bedding is important.
I’m a cold-sheets fan. Cold, high thread count sheets. I don’t get flannel sheets. Far too warm for me, even in the dead of winter.
And I think you hit the nail on the head about mornings. I like the calm.
I almost want to take pictures of my bedroom now to send to you to see what you make of it.
-R.
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:17 am
I’m in total agreement about flannel sheets, just, eww..no…especially once you wash them a couple times and they get those balls o’ fuzz. Ick.
However I’m exactly opposite. I like my bed warmed up before I hop in it. an electric blanket is on the bed even in the summer since we have A.C. – as is the down comforter. I like it very warm.
It seriously works…I swear you can honestly tell about a person by their bedroom! The Mister is lucky I married him after I saw the pit that was his dorm. It’s only taken 13 years to break those habits! Sheesh, he’s lucky I’m a stubborn woman!
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:53 am
The funny thing about eating is that Cole gets disgusted by the sound of people swallowing their food. It totally weirds him out. Sometimes I’ll try to swallow really loud just to get him all riled up
I’m a morning person in that I wake up early and can’t sleep in, but I have my routine. When I ride in during the week I get up at 5:30 to catch the 7:55 train. I like to sit down, blog, post comments, ponder humanity, eat some oatmeal, ponder what my dogs will do during the day, and then finally get ready to leave. Even on the weekends I can’t sleep in – 7:00 – 7:30 is getting up there although sometimes I make it a bit past that!