Women: In my humble opinion.
Weekend events prompted some discussion in my circle of friends on how to treat women. So I’m going to pull a page from my Guide to Women black book and list a few of my personal rules here.
1. If you’re with her, be with her. I don’t just mean that you shouldn’t have a wandering eye (which is insanely disrespectful) but be engaged. Pay attention not just to what she’s saying but to what she wants. Anticipate it and be responsive.
2. Jealousy. Maya Angelou said it best when she said that jealousy is like salt. A little bit enhances the savor but too much is unhealthy. Keep it in check.
3. Simple Sincerity. Sincerity and honesty go hand-in-hand. Women can smell dishonesty and BS a mile away. If jealousy is like salt, insincerity is like poison.
4. “I love you because…” Yes, women want to know that you love them. But they’d rather know why you love them, in particular. I don’t think this should be a revelation to anyone but most women aren’t that concerned about your ability to love. They can figure that out a million different ways on their own. I think women would like to know what it is, specifically, about them that sets them apart from any other woman walking the earth. Tell her why you love her.
5. Quit complaining. If you’re doing something that she enjoys but you don’t, don’t bitch and moan about it. You’ll spoil her enjoyment.
6. Compliments. Don’t ignore the obvious ones and don’t forget the thoughtful ones. If she looks incredible, tell her. Tell her what it is that she does that makes you happy. And if you want to pay the mother of all compliments, tell her a way in which she has changed you for the better. Women love to be the agent of change. Don’t be afraid to 1) make a sincere and thoughtful change and 2) tell her about it.
7. Don’t turn into a jerk around your friends. Really uncool. If you find yourself doing this… you’ll probably be without a girl soon and you should probably find some new friends.
8. Have some respect. She’s her own person with ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings. Don’t disrespect them.
9. Don’t have contempt. Don’t express your dissatisfaction with her in the form of contempt. It’s ugly. Learn a new way to tell her if something is bothering you.
10. Be funny and bring money. ‘Nuff said.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
RE, will you be my valentine?
Please?
April 7th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Oh, you terrible tease, you.
Have fun on your date tomorrow, trouble.
-R.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
“But I see these women for how they truly are… glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect…” – Line from that shitty Johnny Depp movie, Don Juan de Marco.
spoken like a true connoisseur of women. your post needs to be a handbook.
things that come in little robin’s-egg blue boxes never hurt, either. heh.
April 7th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Respect is a big key for me.
And a sense of humor, natch.
April 7th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
RE… I think I want you and Unofficial to meet. Then, I want you to give him a lesson. He’s pretty good about most of your “rules,” although there are some which he is currently lacking. I think I’m feeling bitter about current standings but seriously… he should learn from you. You make me swoon not even knowing you.
Plush, I’m jealous
April 8th, 2008 at 12:08 am
DUDE. Will you marry me? Or better yet, be my little pocketbook guide on how to treat women when/if I’m ever on a date?
Did I really just call you “dude”?
April 8th, 2008 at 5:14 am
Plush… you must be awesomely fantastic to have snagged such a great guy
)
April 8th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Avitania – I wondered how long it would be before someone mentioned jewelry. heh.
Bev – That one (Respect) pretty much captures them all. Maybe Aretha Franklin should do seminars.
SnarkyRunner – Oh, at any given time, I might be lacking in one of my own rules, too. That’s why I need them – to keep me in check.
Lily – Okay. Let’s just get married. When do I meet the folks?
MissMegs – She was awesomely fantastic long before me. Damn, that just made me miss her.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Nice post – I agree with everything you’ve said. I think Bev and I have a great and special relationship that’s built on a lot of these things with each other. She’s that one in a million for me. Someone who I can relate to, talk to, and learn from. The best part is I love hanging out with her and doing just about anything.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:45 am
For the men reading this, they may want to check out this awesome book “How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt: The Perfect Husband Handbook Featuring Over 50 Foolproof Ways to Win, Woo & Wow Your Wife”
Some of the Chapter names:
“How to play a round of golf in 2 hours”
“How to wait patiently until she’s ready to leave”
“How to walk slowly thorugh a Museum”
“How to hide your porn”
…and my favorite
“How to appear calm when she’s driving”
Because of this book I was able to unclog a drain without calling a plumber! Score!
April 8th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I think you can tell from lynchseattle’s post who the romantic is in our relationship
Needless to say, I am an extremely lucky and fortunate woman.
He’s the total package!
April 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am
11. Have a Plan. Whether it be a plan re. the date tonight or a plan for “them” in the future. A man with a plan is highly underrated. It shows thoughtfulness, foresight, and interest in the relationship.
12. Be Simple. Life is complicated enough. A simple man with simple needs is like a breath of fresh air.
your guide is very good. almost too good….i think you know too much about us!
April 8th, 2008 at 9:49 am
lynchseattle – you two have a great relationship to witness.
synthetik – heh. Is this a book you can leave around the house?
bev – heh. Yeah, he’s pretty cool.
imurdstiny – Two good additions. My list is from 35 years of chasing women.
April 8th, 2008 at 10:34 am
@random: I don’t know what happened to the book… I was right at the part about getting 6-pack abs for my wife and finally realized it must have been written by a woman and immediately burned it.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:23 am
See…this is why you don’t get married when you’re 19 like I did. We’re celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary this year, and I think I’ve finally got him train… I mean, he’s finally seeing the light.
When you wait, you find a guy who’s figured all this stuff out on their own!
FAB post, as always. You’re a breath of fresh air.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Are you as handsome as you are charming? Just curious . . .
April 8th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Reads like a recipe for love.
#4 is my favorite I think. It takes a very special and thoughtful man to be specific.
Kudos.
April 8th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Nice. Very nice.
Yeah, honesty and sincerety go a long way. (although a sense of humor is my number one mate requirement. and tall. with a rock solid bod.)
:- )
April 8th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Synthetik – That’s hilarious!
Tiffany – My sister used to say the same thing about her husband. When they were engaged and I asked how he was doing, she’d say, “He’s in training.”
NLD – Very cheeky. I owe you a phone call. My sister wanted me to sing songs to my niece to distract her. Ha! I ended up whistling songs to her and she’d guess the tune. Hey, when’re you going to make it up to Chicago?
Angie – My fifth grade English teacher used to say, “Be specific!” all the time. Who knew it was such good advice?
Begijn – Sense of humor is great. That’s one thing about Plush that I adore. She makes me laugh. She also has the rock solid bod. But probably not in the way you would like.
April 8th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Just for the record, this isn’t just a theoretical list. It’s a list of things that actually HAPPEN on a consistent basis with RandomEsq. Case in point: I received an email this evening outlining, with sensuous and flattering detail, my finer qualities. The kind of email I found myself wanting to show off to everyone else in the room, regardless of how inappropriate such a thing might be.
I know I’ve said this before, but honestly, what girl wouldn’t melt…
Miss you
April 8th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
It had been too long since I had written, just to you.
-R.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Ok seriously?
That’s beautiful.
*sigh*
April 21st, 2009 at 10:32 pm
T – You’re very kind.