Teh Womenz. Listyle.
1. I’m having t-shirts made. They say, “MILF Hunter” on the front. Operators are standing by.
2. I stopped for a bottle of wine on my way home from work. The young woman behind the counter took the bottle from me and then looked at my money on the counter…then back at me. I looked back. She grinned. I was confused. She said slowly, “I’m going to need to see some ID.” What the hell, people?
3. Work has been a pressure cooker the past two weeks. Tonight, however, shall make up for it. I was invited to attend a little soirée of sorts to celebrate a chef who studied under Alain Ducasse – so the food and wine should be excellent. My date and I will be dressed and ready to mingle by 6:30. Bring on the cocktails.
4. Boss and I spoke tonight. She said, “There are too many emotions involved with dating. When we were together, there were only two. Either I wanted to choke you or… you know, I loved you.” With this kind of flattery, I hardly know where to begin.
5. What do these things have in common? Cats. Bread. Tiger. Stairs. Exasperation. Exhaustion. Oh yes, all ways in which women have tried to kill me.
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:55 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDmZp9ktZuA&NR=1
Enjoy!
(Well, it made ME howl in laughter)
(….then again most things make me giggle…meh)
March 27th, 2008 at 8:53 am
That dinner sounds fabulous. Details and pictures or it didn’t happen!
I think “MILF Hunters” is also the name of a porn series. Y’know, just in case you ever feel like indulging. Me, I’m all about:
March 27th, 2008 at 8:54 am
I meant: http://www.bustedtees.com/bt/images/BT-silf-gallery-3131.jpg
March 27th, 2008 at 8:57 am
*laugh* Avitania, you’re the one who came up with the MILF Hunter nickname so you get full credit. In fact, you can have a starring role in the porn.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:58 am
1. Heh! Lurve it. I have an arsenal of goofy t-shirts that I save for weeknights and weekends. My favorite being this one: http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/greece/male
2. I haven’t been carded in a long time. I must look old
3. Oh my. That sounds teh yumz! Do tell the details! Foodies FTW!
4. Sincerity and honesty are sometimes best reserved for soap operas.
5. Nice. I hadn’t read the white tiger one before. That’s… a little freaky.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:04 am
The Milf Hunter t-shirt makes me think of Quagmire from Family Guy.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:09 am
LynchSeattle,
1. I really want that Greece shirt to wear in Europe. That’s awesome.
2. I was really surprised. I know I gave her a really odd look.
3. Will do. I’ll take the camera.
4. I think I might be completely fine if womens’ opinions of me were limited to those two options.
5. It was the strangest thing. Boss was so excited she could hardly contain herself. This was a really shady neighborhood. I told my sister this story and she sort of gave me a hard time for not promptly calling animal control. I didn’t know how exactly to tell her that I wanted to beat it the hell out of there so I didn’t get shot (or mauled) and calling animal control didn’t even occur to me.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Hi, Dan – That is a very Quagmire shirt. Maybe I should get another shirt made that says “Long Rod Von Hugendong.” (Did you see that episode? I don’t make this stuff up.)
March 27th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Hehe. Yes Avitania, MILFHunters is a porn series. I thought thats what he was talking about when he said the T-shirt thing. I think its mainly online. I’ve seen a few clips (one of my friends use to be really into this for some reason– I swear Im not into MILF porn). I wouldn’t exactly call them MILFs though. Most of them were kinda raunch. I suppose thats how it goes in the porn industry though.
Random– aren’t you happy you got carded!? At least now you know you don’t look like an old fart.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:22 am
That’s a real porn series? Ohhh, Avitania, you are sooo busted as a porn watcher! I dig.
I guess I’m happy about it. I don’t think I look anywhere near under 21 since I’m in my 30′s but…oh well. But yes, glad I don’t look like an old fart.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:50 am
1. I think it’s perfect. And, the fact that it’s the same name as a porn only adds to how great it is.
2. Maybe because I’m still in my 20′s (late 20′s, mind you) I automatically give my ID along with the money. At least you had your ID. There was one time I went to one of the bars we basically lived in while in law school and did not have my ID. It happened to be the same night that a new bouncer was there. I had to get the bartender to vouch for me. I was bullshit. I swear I almost said “Don’t you KNOW who I am!?!?!” HAHAHA.
3. Soirees are fuuuuuuuun!! I try to get real dressed up once a year. That’s why I wore an amazing red dress for my b-day this past weekend. In law school we had our dinner dance events that I planned (yes, I was THAT girl) and I loved them because we all got to dress up.
4. Did you get the percentages on the amount of time she wanted to choke you and when she loved you? Those might be interesting… haha
5. HAHA.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:53 am
exasperation: def; an exasperated feeling of annoyance
Gee thanks. Nothing like annoying a man to death. I’m good at that.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hi there, Snarky.
1. Figures that I’d be the idiot to wear the t-shirt with a porn series name on the front and have no idea.
2. That’s hilarious – probably a bad sign if you walk into the bar and everyone yells, “NORM!”
3. You PLANNED the events? Oh man, yeah, you’re a total girl. heh.
4. No, didn’t get the numbers. Of course, I like high maintenance women so the constant fluctuation probably only intrigued me and kept me chasing after her. Who knows – I’m real bright like that.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Ms. Single Mama,
Is that what that means?!
There. I’ve edited. I’m sure you can think of more than one way to exhaust someone to death.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:24 am
“Either I wanted to choke you or… you know, I loved you”
HAHA those are the memorable relationships. Great stories.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:27 am
See, I do not find it a bad sign when the bartender already has my drink waiting. I find it to be very convenient and hospitable. HAHA. Then again, currently, I have no spots like that. The minute I move closer to Boston I plan on putting in some serious bartender chatting time to make myself a new home! hahah.
Yes, I PLANNED the events. I even had a title: Student Bar Association Social Chair. Yup!! Haha. The events were great… a huuuuge Halloween party with over 200 people. Barristers Ball with over a hundred all dressed pretty and fun. And then my favorite.. Spring Soiree aka Law Prom. Amazing and so many people!
You men and you’re high maintenance women… leaves no room for someone as low maintenance as me. HAHA.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Dude, one of the best Quagmire quotes was when Stewie kidnaps the head cheerleader and ties her up…leaving her in a bathroom stall. At the end of the episode, Quagmire walks into the stall seeing the bound and gagged cheerleader and says, “Dear diary….Jackpot.”
March 27th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Damn it. All this family guy talk and now I need a fix. Luckily, I have season 1&2 on DVD… I’m off!
March 29th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Whatmenthink – That really does sum up a lot of relationships, huh?
Snarkyrunner – I don’t know what it is but yeah, those high maintenance ones get me every time. I don’t know that I’ve ever dated a truly low maintenance woman. I wonder what I’d do with myself.
Dan – Okay, confession…when Plush (woman I’m dating) calls me up, my ringer is Stewie saying, “Splendid! This calls for a sexy party!”
MissMegs – glad to see you enjoy this guilty pleasure, too.
NLD – you boastful, rotten… Maybe she wanted my name and address so she could stalk me. Lately, that seems to be the trend.