Random Esquire

Ha ha ha, you tell the best jokes, RandomEsq.

1. Plush listens to NPR. This delights me. I can’t explain why. Maybe because I would not have guessed it and unpredictability is interesting.

2. During a conversation with Plush, I confessed that I have a thing for high-maintenance, crabby women. I realize that this really does not tend to work in my favor. Crabbiness is not a great thing to find arousing in a person since most people do not equate their crabby mood with gettin’ it on.

Why can’t I just be a normal weirdo and like feet or something? I don’t know why, but crabbiness sets my teeth on edge in a good way.

3. Plush made an audible cooing sound when I mentioned Atonement. Mind you, I was telling her about how I made fun of The Italian. But uh…yeah, I’d take her. I’d take her if it was only showing in the next state.

See? High-maintenance. Something is wrong with me.