Random Esquire

Boss and I went to CostCo in search of a large vat of hand sanitizer for her classroom. Unable to find it and having heard that it may be behind the pharmacy counter, we went to ask. We were shown a 12 oz container of Purel. I felt like asking, “This is CostCo, right? Bring on the bulk.” The employee began a discussion on how hand washing was just as effective. I didn’t really know how to stop him and tell him that he was wasting his breath because Boss was not going to trust the stunting of bacterial growth in her room to the hand-washing skills of a bunch of kindergarteners. Boss casually mentioned teaching in between his ramblings. I decided to step in.

I smiled and said, “We like to dip the children in it.”

He laughed and turned toward me and opened his mouth. I said, “And then we set them on fire.”

He said, “Well, that would work…”

You’d think he would have piped down at this point but no, we ended up just backing away from the counter, nodding and smiling until we both turned to each other and said, “too friendly.” We don’t like people enough to engage in random CostCoConversation. Just enough to try a CostCo sample. That’s our limit.