Random Esquire

Night and morning are making promises to each other which neither will be able to keep.
–Richard Shelton

I have spread my dreams under your feet:  tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
–W.B. Yeats

There is a saying that “paper is more patient than man”; it came back to me on one of my slightly melancholy days…Yes, there is no doubt that paper is more patient.
–Anne Frank

Whatever I take, I take too much or too little; I do not take the exact amount.  The exact amount is no use to me.
–Antonia Porchia

The only real progress lies in learning to be wrong all alone.
–Albert Camus

Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found it was ourselves.
–Robert Frost

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.
–Thomas Merton

You do not have to sit outside in the dark.  If, however, you want to look at stars, you will find that darkness is necessary.  But the stars neither require nor demand it.
–Annie Dillard

Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to?  You will never find that life for which you are looking.  When the gods created man, they allotted to him death, but life they retained for their own keeping.  As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice.  Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the lot of man.
–The Epic of Gilgamesh

I dig this article.

“A man was in custody Sunday after police said he ripped the head off a tame duck that lived in a hotel lobby’s ornamental pond.”

Why would he do such a thing?  According to him, “I’m hungry.  I’m gonna eat it.”

Ever since I have known Boss, we have remarked about the number of times a movie features someone throwing up.  It is amazingly frequent in movies.  Even if you can’t think of a movie off the top of your head that shows someone getting ill, chances are that if you think of five relatively recent films, you can’t be certain that someone wasn’t throwing up in at least one of them.  It’s everywhere.

I started to wonder what they use in movies for vomit so I did some poking around and found this page which gives instructions on whipping up a fresh batch.   It looks like it was written by a middle school kid because the author suggests adding green food dye…and he then suggests spreading it all over the bed so that you can enjoy a day off from school.  I love the warning that comes with it:  “Make sure you don’t get the food colouring on your clothes, it stains!”  But go ahead and spread that all over the bed, kids.

Frighteningly enough, there is a link on how to make fake diarrhea, as well.   Ingredients include coffee and maple syrup.  The author notes that it won’t smell like diarrhea, so “your acting will also need to be convincing.”  I’m not sure I’d believe that my kid had to stay home from school if it smelled like he made me breakfast in the bathroom.  Maybe it’s one of those fine line smells.  Again, the best part about this entry is the warning:

“Don’t put too much coffee in the mix. Too much coffee will look like blood and earn you a trip to the doctor rather than a day off of school.”

If I had a kid, he wouldn’t be allowed on the internet.

Friday night, Boss and I went out for Ethiopian food at Ras Dashen. For some reason, I don’t miss eating meat if the food is Ethiopian. It’s a great place for a vegetarian meal. I sipped Chai while Boss did the Ethiopian coffee, which she must have enjoyed because we found our way home with a pound of the beans.

Last night, we tried our luck at a nearby Korean place called Su-Ra which recently opened in Wicker Park. We both ordered the dol sot bul gogi bi bim bop and we are both, unfortunately, rather disappointed. The dish lacked the texture of pickled vegetables and instead had red peppers and corn. All of this had me declaring the meal the equivalent of a bad 1950’s pot roast dinner. Bland on flavor and short on texture.

I fear I am becoming an Opinionista because I want to write restaurant reviews for each place at which we dine and push it in their face. That probably says something messed up about me.

Boss has a new room full of three foot monsters. One little girl told Boss in a frank, no-nonsense way that she had peed the bed last night. There was no shame in it. Just, there you go, I pee the bed. She went on to say that as a result, she would have to sleep on the couch that evening.

Later that day, Boss overheard her speaking to another kid who told the little girl, “I peed my bed last night” to which the little girl responded, in 100% sincere delight, “You pee the bed?! I do, too!!” It was like two people discovering that they had an obscure interest in common. The little girl then said, “So, do you have to sleep on the couch, too?”

Oh, to have no shame once more.

I decided to read Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry.  He won the 1986 Pulitzer for the book.  In truth, I’m listening to the audio book from audible.com.  The book chronicles a cattle drive from Texas to Montana.

I’d heard of the book/movie but it never occurred to me to read it until I was poking around for my next download on audible and saw that it was 36 hours and the reviews were fantastic.  As I like to get bang for my buck, I decided to give it a go.  I’m about three hours into it and I have to say, it’s pretty damn funny.

I didn’t expect that.  I know I’ve grinned at something while listening on the train and probably looked like a subway-weirdo.  It’s nothing like I expected or anything like what I typically read.  My standard fare is legal thriller, murder mystery, suspense, espionage, etc.  My last book was The Janson Directive by Robert Ludlum.

I think the book strikes the same cord in me that drives me to watch Deadliest Catch.  Smoking, calloused hands, the most important possession is a good pair of boots, cooking from rations, all of that.  Sort of intrigues the reckless and adventurous side in me.

I want to seriously start planning a very adventurous trip to Vietnam and Thailand not only with respect to travel plans but also how fit I am for some physical exertion.  So, I just hired a trainer for the next six months.  I better be able to scale a mountain in 100% humidity and 100 degree heat as well as hold my breath underwater for 2 minutes after this.

Here are the various terms people have entered into search engines…which then pointed them to my blog:

1. men like whores in the bedroom

2. “reverse sneezing” dog lips sores

3. boobs at nascar

4. female noodlers

5. how do I make cinna stix

6. medical incredible skin sloughing -and- toxic epidermal necrolysis “medical incredible”

7. she walked home wearing her soaked leather clothes and leather shoes (?!)

8. bees trap Home Depot

9. flavorice cough

10. what happens to earthworms cut in half

The other day, while at work, I walked into a hallway and was struck by the smell. I could not tell immediately what it was. It could have been someone’s lunch or someone’s body odor. There are a handful of smells like that, that straddle the line between entirely good smells and horribly bad ones.

I picked up some fresh parsley and cilantro yesterday and made a chimichurri sauce. Were I to have but one condiment for life, this would be it. I tweaked this recipe (per advice in the comments) by adding equal parts cilantro and parsley and one more clove of garlic. In addition, I passed on the vinegar and used fresh lemon juice. Today, I mixed a spoonful with a cold freshly steamed corn and tomato salad. (And yes, I took this picture!)