Random Esquire

There are two things you will do a great of if you happen to go to the Oprah show: wait and clap.

Until I have time, or unless there is some sort of demand for it, I will not do a fully detailed update but will leave it at a brief synopsis of the day.

Upon getting to the studio at 6:15, we checked in all electronic devices and were boarded on to buses and taken to a theater where we screened Across the Universe, directed by the same woman who directed Frida. The movie incorporate 30+ Beatles songs into a narrative. No trailers when you’re screening a movie, by the way. I’m surprised to note that many people will not forgo the movie experience of popcorn and nachos despite sitting down a movie at 8:15 in the morning. It was a decent movie. We were told right before the movie that the morning show’s guests were Justin Timberlake, Reba McIntire, and Kelly Clarkson. (Collective moans of disappointment were heard as we were the afternoon show.)

Following the movie, box lunches were provided to us as we filtered out and we re-boarded the buses. Back to the studio where we sat for a while before exiting the buses and standing in line for additional security which took a while because all purses were searched (and any paper or pens were confiscated, along with any residual electronics) and there were a lot of purses to be searched.

Then into a waiting room where we waited a good two hours. Finally, we were loaded into the studio and seated and an employee came and told us that the bigger the reaction and expression, the more likely it will be on television. Then we all practice “Ooos” and “Ahhs”. (No kidding) Then someone said, “She’s coming,” and all 315 audience members fell so silent and still, it was as if we were listening for the footsteps of death.

And then someone says, “Oprah Winfrey!” in a yell that reminded me of He-Man screaming “Castle Greyskull!” and out she walked. It was near hysteria. Vera Wang was the first guest and there was a runway show. Oprah told everyone that they’d be getting a gift bag with items from the SimplyVera collection (available at Kohl’s - Oprah makes sure you know this) which included a gold bracelet, purse, and bed linens. Then the director of the movie spoke and the actors/actresses came and sang songs from the movie.

It was a much more…intimate experience than I expected. Oprah grabbed my hand and shook it and Vera Wang and my mother actually chatted (this was not during the show). It was bizarre but in a pretty nice way. Thus ends my Oprah experience.

Airs Friday, September 14th.