Random Esquire

MamaPhunk is trying to convince me that I’m just a few chromosomes shy of having my own craft blog. She explained that the craft itch begins with the desire to construct/deconstruct something. This reminded me of the Saga of the Bees that took place at my parents home. The saga begins with a bee infestation in the eaves of their house, has my mother leaving my father at Home Depot after an argument about how to get rid of said bees and ends with the Bee Trap my father I constructed which almost made my mother’s face split.

The bees were coming in/out of a particular place near the roof so my father rigged a dryer vent hose from that place into a cardboard box which had a fan in it. Attached to the box was a trashbag. All of this was perched on a step ladder and held together with duct tape. We turned on the fan, it sucked the live bees in through the dryer vent hose, they hit the fan blades and flew into the trash bag. Let’s see if this helps:

See? I can do crafts. Nothin’ to it.

I want a huge house and a huge fish tank. Does this make me a dork?

Mental Floss had a great entry on some fish tanks. Check out the pictures on this site - called the Fish Highway. It’s like hamster tubes all over your home…made for fish. This guy’s tank is straight out of Shedd.

Okay, I found this website forum in which a fish keeper posted pictures about his 50,000 gallon tank! These people keep BIG FISH. I’ve never so much as considered keeping a fish that, if it bumped me in the wild, might make me jump out of my skin a little.

I know this shouldn’t crack me up but there is a question posted about a fish having an eating disorder because it gets intimidated by the other fish at dinner time. Some icing on the cake in the form of a very sincere response which suggests lettuce, bits of orange, or some shelled peas …coupled with an icon of a fake fish preparing to swallow a bottle of Jack Daniels. Awesome.

Holy Crap. This post has the subject “One of my piranhas died. WHY?” and it comes with the warning: “*graphic*” The thing is, as soon as you see the picture, it will be obvious how it died. I’ll be damned, it’s like Fish CSI over there. Be sure to scroll down for the decapitated head. I love that one of the responses suggests it was a hate crime. People crack me up.