Random Esquire

Here are two less than ideal reasons to buy something. 1) Because it doesn’t cost that much and 2) Because it’s cool.

But for those exact reasons, I seem to think I need one of these watches that has an electronic compass, tells me the temperature, and if the tide is in or out. I know this is ridiculous because 1) I live in Chicago, 2) I can really only go in three different directions since the lake all but completely blocks one way, and 3) the temperature is displayed on every bank-corner. But the watch ties into my nightmare (daydream) that while we are in Vietnam, we will somehow be left on the side of a mountain, be kidnapped by the montagnards and forced to escape - at which point, all of those episodes of Man Vs. Wild would become terribly important. Admittedly, probably more important if that cockney wanker hadn’t been sleeping overnight in the Motel 6.

This irrational fear (dream) has me considering a nice flint to go on my keychain. Field and Stream had a great article on cramming an entire survival kit into an Altoids tin. I wonder if I could strap a survival kit on Little Filthy. He should be able to carry an Altoid tin full of stuff. I think Boss may have similar dreams about managing to pack an entire week of clothing into a relatively compact Prada bag. Who am I kidding? I just realized what Boss’s survival kit would look like.

My wallet.