Random Esquire

This post features the Andy Rooney stamp of cynicism, gracing all things wonderfully crabby.

There are two things I do not understand at all:

and .

Criss Angel and Robin Thicke. I just do not get it. I know they have talent so I won’t dispute that.

Criss Angel reminds of the kid who rode his skateboard to school. The major difference being that he seems to be surrounded by attractive women. Not only is he perpetually dirty, he’s a magician (formerly a kiss of death to any young man’s sex life) and he has a speech impediment. At what point do these gorgeous women look over and realize that they are with a makeup-free Marilyn Manson-esque David Copperfield who looks about 3 days shy of sleep?

Robin Thicke, I admit, is more of a puzzle to me. Did you know that he thinks he’s

? That’s right. He thinks he’s a black man. Except he sings in falsetto. Which makes him more like .

I heard him sing and he broke out the Michael and I think my jaw dropped because women were popping their trunk for him. So, if you’re a woman and you like either of these two, please, explain the appeal because I’m stumped.

Let’s have a little Criminal Procedure question today, courtesy of Aspen Publishers and the Law in a Flash series: Card #28

Police suspect King Kong of stealing the radio antenna from the top of a skyscraper. They conduct an illegal search of Kong’s house, where they find a newspaper clipping about the theft of a shipment of bananas from the Havana Banana Company. They go away and investigate that crime and find evidence sufficient to arrest Kong, even though they’d had no reason to suspect him before the illegal search. At his trial, Kong claims the evidence used against him is “tainted fruit” of the illegal search and should be excluded. Is he correct?

Answer posted tomorrow!