Random Esquire

So! I guess every year, a bunch of computer hackers get together in Las Vegas and talk about their particular skill set. It’s called DefCon. Apparently, one of the producers of Dateline NBC decided to go to the convention as an attendee (as opposed to as a member of the Press, which would have included signing an agreement on what they can and can not report/film) with an undercover camera with the hope of catching any of said hackers on film discussing illegal hacking jobs they’d done.

Let’s pause to consider a couple of things:

1) First, if I ran a casino in Vegas, I’m not sure I’d invite a bunch of people particularly skilled at hacking for an annual convention under my roof. I mean, I’ve seen Ocean’s Eleven. That’s a little like sh*tting where you eat.

2) How exciting can this get? Camera footage of some blurry white guy, acne scars blissfully smoothed over, bemoaning the fact that Blockbuster no longer charges late fees thereby denying them the pleasure of hacking the database and removing the fees himself?

You know what this reminds me of? The guy who sent a spam e-mail with a picture of a woman having sex with a horse and Dateline NBC tracked down the spammer. The spammer? Worthless. Find that woman. I have questions for her.

Anyway, the hackers figure out that she (the Dateline producer) has infiltrated the ranks and the head nerd announces it to the room. She grabs her purse and bolts with the white sockers following her, filming it as they heckle her all the way to her car. Video can be found here.

I can’t believe they decided to infiltrate a hackers convention with a blonde woman. Unless she was wearing white socks, I’m not sure how she was even admitted.

If you went to DefCom, I’m positive you’re attractive and muscular. And socially well adapted. And not vengeful in the least. You big dork.