Random Esquire

Boss is normally fairly predictable. I chalk this up to my fantastic skills of perception. There are, however, times when Boss will do something so off the wall and unexpected that there really is no way I could have foreseen it. Today, Boss and I went out to do a few small shopping tasks. We’ve decided to go whole grain so Boss was holding a bag with a loaf of bread in it. A heavy loaf of 9 grain bread. As I was getting ready to board the elevator, I saw something out of the right corner of my vision just in time to turn my face into a flying loaf of bread before it smacked me in the nose. Was there a tsetse fly on my nose that required immediate intervention? No. Was Boss suffering from some sort of spasm? No. I grabbed my nose and looked at her. She said, “Oh my God! The bread…it just…felt heavy…I wanted to see if it would make a good weapon.”

*sigh*