Random Esquire

1. I said something shockingly rude today which made Boss gasp and then laugh, in spite of herself. We were watching television and something prompted me to say, “Nothing sadder than a fat girl getting her nails done.” The thought seriously made me melancholy and I was being sincere but I know that I say ridiculously offensive things sometimes. I’m a sin just to tolerate.

2. Boss went to bed at 8:30. That’s what 19 kindergarten kids will do to you. Don’t ever have nineteen-uplets.

3. I received a request via e-mail at work yesterday at about 3:45 p.m. I was on a conference call. I looked at it at 4:30 and said that I would not be able to address the request until the next day and I asked to be sent a document so I could complete the review. I received said document at 1:30 today. At 1:40, 1:42, and 1:49 respectively, I recieved e-mails that roughly translated into, 1) Are you done yet? 2) what about now? and 3) how about now? I wrote back and said, “Everyone sit still.” I envision my sales people as a bunch of children in the backseat of a car, bouncing up and down in their seat roughly, screaming, “Are we there yet? Now? Now?” And similarly, I want to reach over and slap them a little.