High School, Breeds, I am offensive, etc.
Before I lived in Chicago, I lived in a smaller city and one of its “small town” quirks was that when someone asked you, “Where’d you go to school?” they were asking you where you went to high school…not college. People would ask, “Where’d you go to school?” I’d say, “Notre Dame.” And they’d say, “No, I mean…what high school.” This was because if they knew your high school, they would immediately be able to tell what part of town you grew up in and how much money you did (or didn’t) have. I thought this was so ridiculous that when people asked me where I went to school, I’d name my elementary school, Scarborough Elementary. Does anyone really care where in the hell you went to high school?
That reminds me of something else. When I was fairly new to my previous job in said small town, a new co-worker had stopped by - not anyone I was terribly familiar with. As I’ve stated previously, I am half caucasian, half something else. Most people have a vague idea I’m not standard fare so I often get asked about it. After chatting a while with this co-worker, he asked, “Where’re you from?” I said, “My family is in Chicago.” He said, “No, I mean, where’re you from?” I said, “Oh, I grew up in Kansas City.” He said, “No, I mean…you know,…where were you born?” I said, “Oh! Minnesota.” He said, “No, I mean…what are you? Are you American?”
I felt like saying, “Oh, you mean what breed am I?”
American does not equal white. For example, Americans love all kinds of food and work at all kinds of restaurants. White people love P.F. Chang’s - (Chinese food without the offensive ethnicity!) This is really basic stuff. And no, I am not Chinese. I just like to point out that white folks love P.F. Chang’s.
Anyway.
I knew what he was asking and I was being somewhat difficult because I honestly don’t know why it is hard to ask someone what their ethnic background is. I know this is one of my particular pet peeves and it has transfered to son (a.k.a. Little Filthy) which I posted about once before. It happened when a man, staring at Little Filthy and clearly curious about what breed he was asked me, “What is he?” And I said, “He…is a dog.“
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 8th, 2008 at 2:58 am
I have thought of asking the same thing but wouldn’t dare so I think I understand why that person had a hard time asking.
If I meet a new person for example and I don’t know what they’re a mix of I won’t ask because I’m afraid they’ll be offended.
Race is such a touchy subject nowadays, some people don’t like it when you call them ‘black’ other people balk at the idea of being called ‘african american’ and others embrace those labels for themselves. You don’t know that though when you first meet a person! I’m just afraid I will come across as rude if I ask and use the wrong term for that person so I keep my mouth shut unless they bring it up. It’s less risky than opening it, saying the wrong thing or having it misinterpreted and accused of being a racist.
To me this is akin to going up to an overweight woman and asking her when the baby is due and touching her stomach. Obviously you have no idea why she has a round belly if she’s a stranger to you. Why risk offending or hurting her feelings? Wait for her to bring it up, thats what I do
March 8th, 2008 at 11:32 am
You’re very thoughtful. It *is* hard because some people think, “Why not just ask me?” and other people think that approach is completely backwards. Thank you for the comment, small town girl.
-R.