Random Esquire

1. My best buddy from high school was in town this weekend to run a 1/2 IronMan. I had not seen him in a few years. We met him out for brunch on Sunday and had a good time talking about the Peace Corp, teaching, old times and good times. He told us a story about being in Moldova (when he was in the Peace Corp and how he ate boiled beans and potatoes every night for weeks on end and how volunteers asked for spices to be sent from relatives back in the states. He said that on a special occasion, one of the families had a barbeque and he had meat. He said that he noticed a plastic bottle of something that people were putting on their meat at the barbeque and so he eached for it to put on his food. As he tipped it to put some on his food, one of the locals stopped him and said, “Don’t put too much on…that’s very, very spicy. Put only a very little.” He put a dab on his food and tasted it. It was ketchup.

2. And now, it is with great shame that I must admit that I am watching Flavor Flav’s show. In the first show, two girls have a fist fight. One girl then kneels to pray and says, “Please forgive me for beating this bitch ass today, Lord…” The other girl says, “Is that really necessary?” To which the prayer responds with, “Girl, you better quit interrupting my prayers before God directs me to whup your ass.” And…the rumor is (we’re only about 30 minutes into it right now) that one girl poops on the floor. You know, you couldn’t hire people to act that stupid. Plus…there’s a white girl who thinks she is black. She seriously believes she is black. I can’t wait until a real black girl beats the black off her.