Random Esquire

1. I was changing my neice’s diaper and sprinkled a little bit of baby powder on her. My sister said that I was “salt and peppering the baby.” is it just me, or does that sound horrible? I told her that it sounded like I was seasoning the baby.

2. We went to a Ribfest this weekend. This was basically torture for Boss. Let me outline some of the rasons why this is:

a) It was outside. Boss does not like the outdoors.
b) People outside in the summer sweat. Boss does not like sweat.
c) People eating ribs often lick their fingers. No one looks good licking their fingers. Also, it isn’t clean. This is a double whammy for Boss.
d) Someone stuck their finger on the end of one of the barbeque sauce ’spigots’ and tasted it off their finger. She almost screamed.
e) A pervy old man surprised her with her hands full and stuck a round sticker on her chest that said, “Lick My Ribs.”

She relayed all of these things to me and upon seeing the look on my face (I had just shelled out $50 for the afternoon) said, “But at least we went!”

3. I might be addicted to Family Guy. I want Quagmire as my ringer so that when Boss calls me, my phone says, “Giggity, Giggity, Gig-ah-Ty!” I would probably never do this but I like the idea of it. Her ringer now plays The Odd Couple.

We took Little Filthy to the beach yesterday. Another pug promptly mounted him. I sighed and pulled them apart. Of course, then Little Filthy wanted to know what that was all about. I told him that sometimes dogs do that. One dog gets sick and another dog pushes him to the hospital. I’ll let Boss cover any questions. Fill in the gaps. You know.

Upon leaving the beach, we happened upon a mobile dog spa. We had considered getting Little Filthy shaved to keep him nice and cool during the summer and since he needed a bath anyway, we decided on a quicky shave….what the hell. And I can tell you without a doubt, that was his reaction as well - what. the. hell.

He has a lion tail. And looks like someone stuck the wrong size head on his body.

Here is his, “I mean, honestly” photo:

Right then. Sorry, buddy.