Random Esquire

Boss and I decided to go out to eat tonight. This is not so much a surprise as, many days, the call to dinner begins with “I’m hungry” and ends with “Don’t forget to lock the door.”

Here’s what is different about our night out. Boss tried to kill me.

As I drove by a car nearing the restaurant, Boss noticed the back hatch of the car parked along the side of the road was open and some men were looking inside. She said, “There was a tiger in there! A white tiger!” We parked just around the corner and Boss insisted that I walk back around the corner and confirm that it was a white tiger in the back seat of the car.

Let me set up this scene for you. It’s dark. We’re in a neighborhood unfamiliar to us and slightly dodgy. The man looking into the car looked like he would just as soon shoot me as look as me. And Boss insisted that I deliberately walk around the corner and peer into his car, looking for a white tiger.

So I walked around the corner and pretended to be slightly lost while glancing at the car.

And in the backseat was a white tiger.

What the hell.