Random Esquire

Things I have learned since becoming one-handed (and not my dominant hand):

1. Do not wait to use the restroom until it becomes anything close to an emergency.
2. Do not even bother trying to do some things that are simply best left to your dominant hand. You will only get frustrated.
3. The mouse is on the wrong side of the computer desk now.
4. Typing is incredibly slow.
5. I was talking about writing in #2. Writing.

Boss stayed up to watch Sasha Cohen do her short program because I told her that Sasha fell, cracked her head and bled on the ice. Schadenfreude, okay? It’s not a guilty pleasure anymore.

I saw an eight week old pug in the condo lobby today with a dog walker. I told her I was going to grab the dog and eat it. He’s like a fat little pig in a blanket. Instead, I scratched his belly and he bit my fingers. Almost makes you want to have another one. Almost.

Little Filthy just loves, loves watching American Idol. I am not so much a fan but I already promised that he could watch tonight.

Arm update: I can almost make a fist. This is good. Because I want to go beat up the parking gate that did this to me.