Random Esquire

My fixation du jour is cruises. I would like to take Boss on a 7 night cruise through Mexico for our anniversary. It will be our first cruise ever. I have been flexing my compulsive muscle by reading website after website on cruises in an attempt to ensure that I am an educated consumer.

In fact, now that I mention it, I might be crazy. When I needed tires for my car, I researched and read reviews on tire noise, handling, and treads. When I purchased a humidifier, I debated/researched cool mist, warm mist and ultrasonic humidifiers. I’ve been reading digital camera reviews for a few weeks now. At one point, I actually calculated the amount of calories in the daily serving sizes of top quality dog food brands for Little Filthy. Now that I am typing this all out, I am nervously glancing over at Boss, wondering if this behavior has ever come to her attention and if so, if she finds it as positively sexy and I hope she does. Not everyone finds the gross tonnage of a ship before purchasing a cruise. Maybe I could market a scent that captures this compulsive nature.

I just really let that get away from me. Any cruise advice?

Updated to add: Boss just read this entry and said, “Oh yeah, that’s why I thought a cruise would be good for us….” Because there is only so much planning I could do. I just asked her, “Do you find it sexy?” She leaned her head on my shoulder and declined to comment.

1. I sent Boss’s grandparents a letter today to thank them for their generosity at Christmas. I put the letter in a package filled with DVD’s of old movies and when I got home, I had a letter from them thanking me for their gift and a package with a gift they had forgotten. So I wrote another thank you card, went out and bought another gift and sent it overnight. I didn’t really. But I considered it. Slowly upping the ante until our place was filled with fudge and mittens.

2. Flavor-Flav has yet another reality show on VH1. It is like The Bachelor where Flav is the bachelor. This is like making a game show in which the grand prize is a pyramid of cans of spinach, circa Let’s Make A Deal.

3. I went to the office today and slapped everyone so they’d remember who was boss. I didn’t really. But I considered it.

4. Little Filthy is sleeping on top of Boss and she is playing with his ears while she reads. It kind of makes me wish I could paint.

5. I think I am a little obnoxious tonight.

Boss and I had a nice New Year’s Eve. We had some champagne at home and then went out for dinner. Our meal included lobster bisque, watercress salad with goat cheese, crab cakes, sea bass, lobster tail, beef filet and a champagne toast. Then we came home and had Little Filthy for dessert.

I kid. We had dessert at the restaurant.

Happy New Year to you!