Random Esquire

8 a.m. Coffee made, Filthy chewing on a bone. Random recent observations:

1. I called my credit card company this morning and requested a lower A.P.R. The Customer Service Representative was polite and qualified. That took most of the fun out of the call. The only odd thing he did was comment that I was awake early. I responded that yes, I was up early and was brewing coffee right now. He suggested I go easy on coffee as it was bad for me. I thanked him for looking out for my well being. But really, I found it rather …well, let’s face it, rather bizarre. What a weirdo.

2. Little Filthy does not wag his tail a lot or, at least, it isn’t very obvious because of the curled up nature of his tail. When we go to the vet, however, and he is up on that stainless steel counter and the female vet is petting him and feeling him up, his tail swings back and forth faster than an autistic child. It is the equivalent of a nervous giggle because he knows she is going to poke him in dark places.

3. It occurs to me that my analogies are insensitive. Boss gave me a bit of an eye. I need to work on that.

4. Speaking of Boss, the other day, we were in the grocery store buying apples. Actually, we were buying many different things because we have bulk buying issues. However, at this point, we were in front of the apples. There were quite a few varieties to choose from. She said she likes softer apples. I said I like crisp apples. She said she doesn’t like it when a big piece breaks off when she takes a bite. I said I love it! And we stood there and stared at each other as if we’d never met. No one thinks to ask these important questions until it’s too late and you fall in love and then you’re stuck buying two different kinds of apples for eternity.