Random Esquire

I am having a strong craving for lemon drops.

You know what amazes me? Food Network has a few shows that show you how a product is made. Just now, they showed how lemon drops are made. What kills me is how they still have some worker measuring things with a scoop or cup, dipping it into some huge 40 gallon Rubbermaid container, filling it and then pouring it into the mixture. Naively, I just assumed that all of this was completely untouched by human hands…or, at the very least, not so easily at the mercy of someone who may or may not be able to keep count of how many cups of sugar they’ve added to something. How does the product remain so consistent?

We need to stop watching Discovery Health channel. Three words: toxic epidermal necrolysis. Try a yahoo image search. Jesus. This woman’s skin just…sloughed off. There was a lot of yelling involved as we watched which worked Little Filthy up into a snit. Now we’re watching maggots put into an open wound. Watch enough of these shows and you start to think it’s a medical miracle to be healthy, period.

What the hell is going on here? It’s 7 and we decided we had to change the channel or risk never eating again. The Learning Channel has a movie on called “The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off.” He has Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB).

This reminds me of a conversation I had in the office with a co-worker. We saw a pregnant woman and my co-worker said to me, with complete sincerity, “I wish I could have a baby.” My co-worker is male. I said, “Like, have a baby or have a baby?” He said, “Have a baby.” It made me want to hit him. I told him so. For some people, biology provides a natural limit to their stupidity.