Random Esquire

Boss just reminded me that Little Filthy has engaged in coprophagia as recently as within the past week. Right. Not so picky.

Boss is a picky eater. Not the kind of picky eater no one wants at their dinner party. “Then we can do the strawberry mousse…wait, Terry doesn’t like strawberries, right? Okay, never mind…” Those picky eaters aren’t much of a leap from the allergy kid. Probably having the allergy kid over for dinner is worse because the consequences could be more serious. Feed a picky kid a peanut and you maybe get a wrinkled nose but God forbid you give the allergy kid a peanut. So sensitive. No one likes that kid. No, like all good picky eaters, she keeps it more or less to herself socially and simply picks at things.

Out for dinner on Friday night, as Boss struggled with the menu, the server intuitively asked her “Oh, are you a picky eater? So am I.” And then she pointed at things on the menu that she likes and explained that she likes them and maybe Boss would, too. I don’t get that. I mean, picky eaters aren’t interchangeable. I’d know if someone swapped out the Boss for just some other picky eater. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be fooled for a little while but I’d figure it out eventually. Especially if they gave me someone who ate pork. Boss doesn’t eat pork. She’s graduated from pork.

It’s actually rather lovable because it so clearly makes her so unsure of everything she orders. Yesterday morning at breakfast, she said, “I’ll have the French toast?” She had a look on her face like someone on Let’s Make a Deal who just had to choose either Door 1 or Door 2, has made a decision and is now awaiting the outcome. No, that’s not accurate. More like the princess/tiger doors. French toast was fairly simple as there aren’t many variations. However, more complicated menu items are like offers to which she responds with a counter-offer. Example. Menu states: Beef burrito with black beans and rice with chihuahua cheese sauce. Counter-offer: Red bean burrito with sauce on the side. She must be a good negotiator. They normally accept.

On another food note, Little Filthy had watermelon for the first time today. He was quite impressed which isn’t saying much. Little Filthy isn’t a picky eater. Earlier today, he ate rabbit out of a can.